From These Wounds
by SpecterQueen
Summary: The Starkiller base has been destroyed. Hux starts having the recurring dream again. Adrift in a sea of uncertainty, he tries to make sense of cryptic visions. Ren begins acting bizarrely, seeks him out, asks him to stay by his side. A new base is in the works and Hux is offered a second chance. A mysterious hooded figure tries to lead him to a decision. Force-Sensitive Hux AU
1. Chapter 1

Ch 1: Fragments

He started having the dream again. It was the same one that had been vexing him for the last year, but only intermittently, almost to the point he could ignore it. Almost. It was always the same, seen in first person perspective, floating in a vast sea, somehow able to breathe the water. He gazed into its endless expanse, observed the dim light filtering through it in shafts only illuminating it to a murky blue. Still areas of it sparkled white and brilliant near the surface though it did not appear to be day, or night for that matter. There was simply no way of telling and he could not surface to find out.

Some sense of intuition lured his eyes downward. There was a colossal bridge, monumental, boundless, too large for life or practicality. Even in his dream state he thought the underwater structure peculiar. It appeared to be an old-fashioned suspension bridge, and as he spied it at a great distance it started to crumble just slightly at one part, particles of whatever it was made of drifting into the darkness below.

"Watch," whispered a foreign voice near his ear. "It is going to start falling apart."

He looked on as the crumbling section began to ripple, slowly at first, then more violently, shaking the solid matter easily to pieces and chunks. What he assumed to be stone and metal made little noise as it broke apart and disappeared into the abyss.

"Everything built will fall apart," said the voice. "It will all fall apart."

The last statement was spoken with a measure of intensity that was subtle but effective. He wanted to search for the mysterious, whispering person but could not tear his eyes from the bridge as it continued to collapse. Sections of it undulated and cracked, fractured and fell, one after the other. It was fascinating and oddly soothing to behold.

"Careful that you do not fragment as well, General," said the voice with an ominous tone.

The last utterance never failed to get him to finally swivel his head in an attempt to find its source. He was on the verge of attempting to shout, with water-logged lungs, when he would suddenly wake up. The current morning was no different. He awoke disorientated, confused, a cry nearly on his lips, and the comforting sensation of water enveloping his body harshly wrenched from him.

General Armitage Hux stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom, clutching his black sheets tightly. It was a new day. A new and awful day. He let his gaze fall to the window beyond the foot of his bed and sighed. It was morning according to his chronometer, but he would be damned if the tract of space outside indicated any time. He missed being on a planet. He desperately missed the Starkiller.

Slowly, he pulled his weary body from bed and got ready for his shift. The morning routine comforted him, but the intrusive, pessimistic thoughts about his situation dampened it significantly. Settling his greatcoat over his shoulders, he decided checking on Kylo Ren was the first thing on his daily agenda, even if it was the last thing he wanted to do. He went to the med bay, and was not surprised to find him missing. Nobody had seen him go anywhere. Also not surprising, but definitely annoying. He spent a good forty-five minutes searching for him on the massive Finalizer.

"Ren," Hux called to the sulking man. He was sitting by a window in a random, seldom-used lounge. "What are you doing here? The doctor told me you were never discharged from the bay."

"I'm fine," said Ren keeping his gaze locked firmly on the stars and planet that moved outside the window. "Leave me alone."

"No," said Hux moving over to Ren. His face was in shadow, but he could still see the new scar running jagged over it. They had tried to minimize it as much as possible but it was simply too deep. "You became my reluctant responsibility when I was ordered to deliver you to the Supreme Leader."

"So you have reminded me far too often in a very short time," sneered Ren. "I don't understand why I have to wait to complete my training."

Hux did not dignify his statement with a response. He was in a foul mood, as he had been since the Starkiller was destroyed mere days ago. He placed some of the blame squarely on Ren, probably more than was due. It was weak minded of him, but he felt he needed someone to blame other than the Resistance.

"I have to get to the bridge," said Hux turning on his heel and taking a step away. "Please try to keep yourself in one piece until-"

Ren reached out and abruptly grasped his arm, painfully tight, silencing him. He somehow managed to find it effortlessly even through his greatcoat. He was staring at him intently and with an unusual expression.

"Something…is different about you," said Ren carefully, haltingly. "What happened?"

Hux bristled at the question. "You know bloody well what happened!" he shouted, feeling his temper bubbling up past his cool exterior. "Now. Let. Me. Go."

The bare fingers gripping his arm released immediately. It was in a delayed manner that Hux realized that the infamous Kylo Ren was not wearing his helmet, or gloves, or regular outfit. A memory came to mind of Ren telling him he loathed to move about the ship or base uncovered. Maybe his recent defeat had knocked some sense into him. One could only hope.

 _The helmet looked ridiculous anyway_ , he thought loudly in Ren's direction. He knew the bastard routinely caught his thoughts, especially when he projected them.

Strangely, he was met with no response, and Ren continued to stare out the window, ignoring him completely. Ah well, perhaps he was in just as bad of a mood. He marched out of the room without a backwards glance.

He worked his shift mechanically, overly glad for the distraction it offered him. There were a lot of fires to put out since the destruction of the Starkiller, and it certainly offered him a bureaucratic haven for the time being. They were en route to the temple Supreme Leader Snoke resided in on a distant planet in the outer rim, or at least he was led to believe so. He was not even given its name, merely its coordinates. Their destination weighed heavily on his mind causing it to wander.

Why had he not received any orders since the retrieval of Ren? Was his failure going to be punished? Was Ren truly going to recover from his defeat? Would his final training transform him into something so horribly powerful that he could not be controlled? Or would the training simply kill him?

Shaking his head clear of stupidly hypothetical thought, Hux finished the last form of the day and handed the datapad off to some lieutenant to be processed. He announced his departure and left the bridge stiffly. As he walked back to his quarters his stomach growled at him loudly to remind him that he had not eaten a bite all day. Unenthusiastically, he made a detour to the wardroom. He was nearly there when he turned a corner and ran into a wall of black fabric.

"Excuse me, I was-"

"Hux! I've been looking for you," said Ren urgently.

A sense of dread pooled in his stomach instinctively upon hearing Ren's tone. Had he finally received orders from Supreme Leader Snoke? The thought was not very comforting, even if it may present him with a much needed goal. Ren once again grasped his arm, much more gently, and started dragging him behind him as he hurried down the hall.

"What is this about?" he demanded, having difficulty keeping up with Ren's ridiculously long strides. "I intended to get something to eat," he added crossly.

"That's fine," said Ren glancing back at him. "I cooked some food tonight."

"You…what?"

"Cooked some food. In my quarters," said Ren nonchalantly. "I'm a pretty good cook, you know."

It was such an odd statement to hear from Ren that Hux was left without a retort. He grudgingly let himself be tugged all the way to Ren's quarters, too hungry and tired to mind the occasional questioning looks they received. When they arrived, he tossed his greatcoat over a chair and plopped down onto a couch in the common room with an undignified huff. A minute later a hot bowl of something that looked like soup was shoved under his nose.

"What is it?" Hux asked, taking the bowl and spoon before eyeing it suspiciously.

"A type of gumbo," said Ren sitting across from him and retrieving his own bowl from the caf table between the couches. "My unc…somebody I knew taught me how to make it a long time ago."

Hux had absolutely no idea what gumbo was, but decided he was too hungry to care or ask. He took a tentative bite and slowly chewed the ingredients. It tasted like a fine blend of spices he did not even know the ship contained, some type of shellfish, a tender white meat, peppers, and onions. It was hearty, spicy, savory, and infinitely better than he had expected. The bowl was empty in a matter of minutes and he wanted more. Ren accommodated him, silently fixing him a second bowl and patiently waiting as he finished it.

"Was it good?" asked Ren leaning forward in his seat and resting his arms on his legs casually. "Did you like it?"

"It was good," said Hux setting the bowl down. He felt vastly better with a full stomach and in a better mood to tolerate Ren's antics. "I'm impressed. I never would have figured you for a decent chef."

Ren smiled softly, genuinely. He had always responded well to praise, though Hux did not offer it very often. "Can I ask you a question?" he said his expression shifting to stern. "It's important."

His stomach did an annoying flip and he wanted to blame it on stuffing too much food into it too quickly. A growing sense of foreboding led him to believe it was something else entirely. "You may, but I might not answer."

Quirking his head to the side slightly, Ren stared at him for a moment. "Why did it end?" he finally spoke quietly, almost as if to himself.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to be more specific than that if you require a response," said Hux relaxing into his seat.

"Our arrangement. Your proposition that I accepted years ago. You and me, sleeping together," said Ren hotly, his words rushing together. "Why did you call it off?"

He should have felt relieved that their current topic of discussion was about interpersonal relationships and not grave punishments for grand failures. He really should have. Yet his heart sped up and his stomach did another awful lurch, nearly leaving him nauseous. Vaguely he realized his reaction was abnormal, exaggerated. He figured Ren would ask eventually, but with their current circumstances all thought he had put into a response had been abandoned months ago.

"I told you then, I'm simply too busy to carry on with such a thing," said Hux, the words coming out much weaker than he intended.

"I don't believe you, not even for a second," said Ren sitting up and scooting forward slightly in his seat.

"I don't care," said Hux. He felt his temper attempting to flare up and tragically misfiring under Ren's intense gaze. He frowned and looked away.

"Tell me the real reason," said Ren lowly, a threat present in his tone. "Could it be that you were starting to develop feelings for me? Inappropriate feelings for a distinguished First Order General?"

"Absolutely not!" shouted Hux in a kneejerk reaction, snapping his gaze back to Ren. "I couldn't care less about you if I tried! You're a constant thorn in my side and I should have let you die back on the…on the…" He faltered and trailed off, unable to utter the name of his beloved, lost base. It made sense to mourn such a thing, he rationalized, since he had put so much effort and thought into it, not to mention so many years of his life.

"It's not such a bad thing," said Ren. He sighed and glanced down at his now folded hands. "Having feelings for someone, learning to care for them more and more deeply…falling deeper-"

"I can't- I just can't do this right now," blurted out Hux, interrupting Ren and shooting to his feet.

In a rushed daze, Hux snatched up his greatcoat and practically ran out of Ren's quarters. As he hurried down the hall to his own quarters, which were actually quite close by, he felt his mind descending into a much unwanted fog. He swore he had felt waves of affection rolling off of Ren when he had spoken to him, and it threw him into a state of panic since he was not normally a very empathetic person.

He let his muscle memory guide him through his nightly routine since his wits were not about him. After he spit out his toothpaste he stared at himself in the small mirror above the sink. His hair hung damply over his forehead from his recent shower, his cheeks looked slightly more hollow than usual, and his blue eyes were bloodshot. His mind was still fuzzy around the edges, stubbornly refusing to sharpen after his encounter with Ren.

What did it mean? Why had he suddenly lost focus? What were the strange feelings assaulting him? Was Ren trying to tell him he was falling in love with him? Why did it even matter? Why was he lending it so much thought? Was he becoming weak or going insane?

Unable to process his stream of questioning thoughts, Hux dimmed the lights, wandered over to his bed, and crawled under the covers. Avoidance was a technique he had honed to perfection in his youth, so he was dumbfounded that it was completely failing him at the present. Eventually he drifted off into a troubled sleep.

* * *

The underwater bridge collapsed in the distance, and the eerie voice whispered portentously in his ear. Somehow he knew it was a repeating cycle as he watched the structure crumble and break down before him, but that knowledge did not stir any emotion. If he felt anything upon witnessing it, it was definitely comfort. Creation and destruction had to exist together in balance, making both perfectly natural and acceptable.

"Careful that you do not fragment as well, General."

Hux spun around, and was startled to find himself suddenly standing in an expansive desert. An arid, desolate, barren wasteland. He hated deserts almost as much as he hated excessive rain. Distantly, he wondered if he had been stranded on Jakku, the awful planet that meddlesome girl was from. He looked around trying not to panic, his exposed skin already starting to feel like it was burning in the unforgiving sunlight.

A figure draped in a dark, hooded cloak stood mere feet from him. He was fairly certain the person –or whatever it was- had not been there when he arrived, and wondered how it had managed to suddenly appear. Before he could take a tentative step towards it, the figure moved first. It advanced quickly, unnaturally fast, invading his personal space but not allowing its face to be seen.

"You did not listen," it said, the voice hoarse and low, possibly male.

"Listen to what?" asked Hux stepping back. Some primitive alarm rang in his head, warning him not to let the being before him get too close.

"I warned you not to fragment," said the figure. "If it gets much worse, you may not be able to receive your gift."

"My…gift?" said Hux beyond confused. "What are you talking about? Who are you?"

"It is too soon to reveal my identity," said the figure. "Have you not felt it yet? You should have been able to sense something by now."

"Listen, I do not work well with vague riddles," said Hux frowning. "If you mean to tell me something important, be straightforward."

"You're not ready."

"This is really turning into a pointless conversation," muttered Hux wiping sweat from his brow. He started to unzip his jacket. "What will make me ready then?"

The figure was abruptly within inches of him and he stared wide-eyed into the dark hole of the hood. Much to his dismay, there was nothing to be seen. He would like to think that the figure's face was merely eclipsed by the shadows within the hood, but that was obviously not the case. There was no face. He felt a sharp pain and glanced down, still dazed by the strange turn of events.

There was a knife sunk into his chest.

Stunned, he stared at it as bright red blood blossomed around the blade. The damned thing must have stabbed him, but he had not felt the weapon slice into him. Surely that did not make any sense. His hands instinctively grasped the hilt but the figure halted any attempt at movement. He noted that it at least had hands.

"Don't pull it out," it spoke quietly. "That's my job."

Hux could only look on, alarmed and distressed, as the figure swiftly yanked the knife from his chest. He thought he may have uttered a panicked "wait", but was not sure. It was too late. The blade must have hit an artery because his blood pumped from the gaping hole with every heartbeat. He made a feeble noise, fell to his knees, coughed up a spatter of blood. It was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe. Desperately, he clapped a hand over the wound and watched horrified as more and more thick crimson fluid gushed around it.

"The answer is death," said the figure softly, sounding sad. "Death will make you ready for everything to come."

Glancing up at the figure with no face, Hux gasped, coughed again. He swayed forward, caught himself on his arms, and bled onto the sand. Was there supposed to be this much blood in a human body? The world was starting to fade. He no longer had the strength to hold his body up and collapsed onto the sand taking shallow, wet breaths.

The figure merely walked away, leaving him for dead.

* * *

His eyes flew open and he gasped sharply. Frantically, his fingers sought out his chest relieved to feel the flesh there intact. Running his hands over his face he sighed in relief. He did not often have nightmares, and none prior had ever felt so real and substantial. He sat up and slid his feet over the side of the bed, carelessly pulling half of the covers onto the floor. As he blinked his bleary vision clear, he noticed a familiar profile lounging by the window.

"Good morning, General," said Ren through his helmet's vocal apparatus. He was dressed in his normal attire, sporting everything but the tattered, hooded cape.

"Likewise, Lord Ren," said Hux, mildly sarcastic. Intent on ignoring his intruder until he had his morning caf, he left the room in nothing more than his boxer briefs. The timer on the machine had faithfully brewed the caffeinated beverage before he woke, so he only had to pour it into a cup and sweeten it.

"Aren't you going to ask why I'm here?" said Ren stepping into the common room.

"I don't care," said Hux dismissively. "Though you should ask before entering my quarters. That only seems polite."

"I'll keep that in mind," said Ren approaching Hux, taking slow deliberate steps.

Hux tried to further ignore him and continued drinking his caf, leaning against the counter of his kitchenette, but Ren was so close. Unreasonably close. He could smell him and feel his body heat. It was immensely distracting and his own body was stirring due to the proximity even as he valiantly willed it not to.

"Did it really mean nothing?" whispered Ren, his voice distorted by the ridiculous helmet that he still wore for some equally ridiculous reason. "You keep saying you don't care. Are you truly as heartless as people claim you to be?"

"I don't have time for this," said Hux turning around and slamming his cup down on the counter. He reached for the caf pot but was grabbed by the arm and whirled around so fast his head spun.

Ren grasped his other arm, jerked his body roughly against the counter, leaned over him menacingly. A light abruptly flashed in Hux's mind, temporarily blinding him. It felt much like it looked, bright, intense, burning. Something was trying to push its way through, and he saw the outlines of objects forming. His eyes adjusted as he blinked, and vibrant green flora came into focus. It appeared to be a lush forest and he looked around dumbfounded until he spied none other than Ren.

He stood at a slight distance dressed in an unfamiliar outfit, his gray hooded cloak flowing gently in the fresh breeze. As he extended a hand towards Hux, sunlight cast a glowing halo to his dark hair. He looked dazzling and beautiful in that moment. Hux eagerly reached out, splayed his fingers, tried to touch him.

His vision swiftly tilted and shifted, leaving him dazed as Ren's unpolished helmet came back into view. Glancing down, he saw that his hands had grasped at the outer layer of Ren's outfit. Whether it was out of loss of balance or because of his bizarre spell was anyone's guess.

"Well?" said Ren irritated. "Answer me."

The words made little sense to Hux. He commanded his fingers to uncurl from the fabric and brought them shakily to Ren's helmet. Having seen him remove the thing a handful of times, he knew roughly where the release buttons should be. He searched briefly under the rim before finding them, pressed down, and heard the hiss the mouth piece made as it moved out and up. Clutching it, he gingerly pulled it from Ren's head, watching as black curls escaped and fell to his shoulders. When he had tugged the helmet completely free, he let it fall to the floor with a metallic thud.

Hux looked at him. He was determined to take his time, and Ren did not seem to mind the attention. The obvious and glaring difference was naturally the scar slashed brutally across his face, and it had faded a bit, even in just one day's time. Yet the marvels of modern medicine could not conceal a scar of that magnitude. He knew if he searched his body there would be more as well. They were certainly proof of a foolish endeavor.

As usual, Ren's curls gloriously defied the confines of his helmet, and Hux brought his hand up to card his fingers through them, still marveling at how soft they felt. Ren let out a breath that almost sounded like a sigh as his eyes fell shut. It was only then Hux realized Ren had shifted his hands to his back and was applying gentle pressure, urging him to get closer though there was hardly any space between them. He continued to study Ren's face intently, stilling it with both hands as it inclined towards his. Ren made a sound of protest, but was apparently content with the limited physical contact.

"You're not going to answer me, are you?" he asked, sounding much like a disappointed child.

"Shut up. I'm thinking," muttered Hux. Honestly, his mind was far too cloudy and distracted to come up with any decently witty response, and he had a sneaking suspicion Ren knew that.

 _It doesn't take this long to figure out whether you care about someone or not,_ came Ren's voice thundering loudly in Hux's head.

He let out a shocked cry as his hands shot to his own head in a vain attempt to lessen the painful throbbing it left behind. "Ugh…you don't have to yell. I can hear you just fine," he said with a frown.

"What? I wasn't yelling," said Ren raising an eyebrow quizzically.

"Whatever. Please stay out of my mind if you can't behave yourself," snapped Hux, an edge of exasperation in his tone. "And to answer your question, since you're being so annoyingly persistent, I couldn't care less about you. Nothing we did meant anything."

Ren regarded him evenly for a moment, then chuckled. He brought a large hand up to Hux's bare chest and rested it firmly over his heart. "I can feel it, you know. Even now, as you openly deny it, your core is burning so intensely…" he trailed off, let his eyes wander to the black gloved hand standing in stark contrast to the pale skin he claimed to adore so much. "If…if it doesn't matter, let me have you."

"Excuse me?" said Hux, but his heart sped up significantly at the suggestion, and Ren surely felt it.

"Indulge me until I go away for training," said Ren, almost pleading. "Become my lover again, but this time give me all of yourself, not just your body."

"That sounds like a lofty demand…" said Hux weakly.

Impatiently, Ren leaned down and kissed his neck, exactly as he had during their first intimate encounter. Hux's body responded immediately, ardently, and he grasped at Ren's hair and clothed back. It was regrettable. He had deluded himself into thinking he had done a good job purging his desires when he had called off their arrangement, but their chemistry remained astoundingly strong.

Without any thought, his hands went to Ren's belt, deftly unlatching it and flinging it aside. Soon he was unzipping and yanking off the multiple layers Ren wore in a frenzy, desperate to feel his skin again. Ren seemed startled and elated, barely able to even assist in the removal of his clothes. He was down to nothing but his pants and boots when he suddenly gathered Hux up in his arms with a pleased hum.

Hux froze as he felt Ren's skin, his scent assaulting him, his warmth surrounding and seeping into him. His body relaxed, molded into the familiar embrace. He tried to stifle his sigh of content, and marveled at how incredibly natural it felt to be held by the troublesome man. It was downright infuriating, yet he could not muster anything even remotely resembling a biting remark. He tried anyway.

"I hate you," he breathed. The statement completely lacked fortitude.

Ren laughed and shoved a hand under the waistband of his boxers, massaging his butt cheek. He used his other hand to tilt Hux's chin up and gently pressed their lips together. The kiss was leisurely at first, but gained momentum, quickly becoming deeper as tongues twined hungrily. Eventually, Hux disengaged and withdrew to hurriedly pull off his boxers. He flattened himself back against Ren letting out a gasp as he was lifted by his ass and carried away from the counter.

They kissed the entire way to the couch, Ren pausing a couple times to give it proper focus. After they were seated, Hux lifted himself up on his knees and helped Ren push his pants down enough to free his straining erection. He moaned quietly as Hux gave it a few good pumps. Hearing a distinct popping sound to his right, he was not at all surprised to see the lube bottle already in Ren's hand. Snatching it from him, he poured it directly onto Ren's cock, eliciting a sharp intake of breath which evolved into a groan as he spread it down the shaft.

Hux made sure to maintain eye contact as he adjusted himself, lined up the head of Ren's cock with his entrance, and slowly lowered himself onto it. He faltered slightly, but Ren's grabbed his ass firmly and assisted him during his descent. He bottomed out panting and sore, yet delighted by Ren's slack, lustful expression.

"Kiss me," he whispered, his dark eyes hooded and his full lips already parted in anticipation.

Hux leaned forward, nudged his lips against Ren's, let out a muffled moan as he rapidly adjusted to the invasive girth. Thankfully it was not as painful as it had been their first time, his body still accustomed to his well-endowed partner. As they kissed, Hux lifted himself up and carefully lowered himself back down, causing Ren to curse into his mouth. A few more cautious thrusts left him confident he could pick up the pace.

Sitting back, he braced himself on the top of the couch and started to move in a steady rhythm, not too fast, not too slow. A flush blossomed over Ren's chest and face as his hands slid up to Hux's hips, pumping him marginally faster. The strange sensation he had never given a name sparked and grew in his chest with the escalating pleasure. It comforted him beyond measure as it spread warmly throughout his limbs and reverberated back to his core. To that day, he was still convinced it was some trick of the Force Ren was unconsciously using. What else could it possibly be?

"I'm not going to last long," ground out Ren, before thrusting up sharply a couple times.

"Mmm…same," said Hux shifting his hands to Ren's shoulders. It changed the angle just enough so that Ren's dick started to rub against his prostate. "Oh, fuuuck…go faster-"

Fingers trailed from his hips to resolutely grasp his ass, and Ren made sure to keep the angle the same as he hammered upward. Lewd moans and cries started to slip from Hux's mouth as he tilted his head back, but he hardly noticed, focused solely on the intense sensations rushing towards a peak. His head tipped forward again and his eyes met Ren's impassioned, searching gaze. That was all it took for the building pleasure to spike sharply, and Hux dug his nails into Ren's shoulders until they bled as he came hard over his stomach. The force of it left him lightheaded and quivering. Ren gave two more shallow thrusts before clenching his eyes shut and shuddering beneath Hux. Spiraling down from orgasm, he felt Ren empty into him in pulsing waves.

Hux's trembling arms promptly gave out and he collapsed heavily onto Ren, struggling to catch his breath. He wanted to scold Ren for coming inside of him before his shift started but lacked the energy or motivation. When he finally pulled out, he felt some of the copious fluid leak out, surely soiling Ren's pants. He did not seem to notice or mind, idly stroking Hux's hair and back as his heaving chest gradually settled.

Tracing small circles on Ren's chest with his thumbs, Hux started to wonder why he had truly called off the sessions. He knew the superficial reason well enough. The Starkiller base had been completed and was ready to use. That was no time to be engaging in frivolous activities. All of his attention needed to be focused exclusively on his job. But why would sleeping with Ren affect his attention? Was he actually developing legitimate feelings for Ren? Impossible.

"I need a shower," mumbled Hux pushing himself up and away from Ren slightly.

Ren said nothing in response as he stood and helped Hux to his feet. He glanced at the chronometer on the way to the refresher, then sidetracked to let the bridge know he would be late. His shower used water, a luxury afforded only to the high ranking and elite upon request. Predictably, Ren joined him shortly after he entered the stall. He barely had a chance to clean himself properly since Ren could not keep his hands to himself. At some point during the cleansing of his ass, Ren managed to pin him against the shower wall and jerked them both off to completion. His shaking legs practically gave out afterwards, and Ren held him up as he washed away the evidence of their latest tryst.

They said nothing to each other as they got dressed. The sense of foreboding still loomed around Hux, but somehow having Ren nearby lessened his anxiety to a tolerable level. He meant to rush past him and out the door, already far too late to be acceptable, but Ren caught him with a sweep of his arms. He kissed Hux deeply, wasting no time in shoving his tongue into his open mouth. Hux reciprocated earnestly, even though he was agitated at the delay.

"I missed you," whispered Ren against his lips. "Please…don't fall apart on me…"

"What did you just say?" said Hux struggling out of Ren's arms alarmed. His last phrase had sounded eerily similar to the words of the cloaked figure in his dreams.

"Hmm? I just meant don't let what happened recently get too rooted in your mind," said Ren cryptically. "Failure has a way of…corrupting people."

Hux stared at him, possibly too openly, definitely too distressed. Did he know about the nightmares? Had he sensed the strange vision he had earlier? Perhaps he was having some sort of mental breakdown, but he was certainly nowhere near admitting it.

"I…I have to go. I'm late," said Hux brushing past Ren and out of the room.

Ren's words haunted him the entire shift.


	2. Chapter 2

Warning: This chapter is pretty much one giant drug trip.

* * *

Ch 2: Chemical Insomnia

Two days passed. Two days gloriously free of dreams, nightmares, and Kylo Ren. For whatever reason, the tall, sulking man had been nowhere in sight and Hux had not questioned it. He almost felt like he was returning to a semblance of his former self. The casualty reports were never-ending and he continuously poured over them on datapads, personally signing off on the death of each First Order member, from Stormtrooper to Officer. The sheer numbers were staggering and disheartening. He would have to see about replenishing the ranks.

"Sir," said Phasma suddenly appearing beside his seat on the bridge. Her silver armor glistened under the dim overhead lights.

"Thank you, Captain," he said passing her the latest datapad he had signed off on, brimming with hundreds of his signature stamps. His hand hung in the air expectantly, waiting for the next one to be bestowed upon him.

"Have you eaten anything today, sir?" she asked after hesitating a moment.

Hux frowned, sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. "Yes, captain. As a matter of fact, I have," he answered glaring at her.

"Oh…good. I'm sorry, sir," said Phasma. "I don't mean to be a bother. Lord Ren told me to make sure you were well while he was away-"

"What?!" blurted Hux bolting to his feet so quickly he nearly slipped. "Where has he gone?! He did not have permission to leave!"

"He wouldn't say, sir," said Phasma backing up slightly. "He did, however, say that he would be back today."

The fact he had been miraculously left alone the last couple days suddenly made perfect sense. It was not because Ren was being merciful or considerate. It was because he was gone. Hux fought down the distinct urge to throw a fit. If the Supreme Leader found out, he was going to look like an even bigger failure than he already was. Swallowing his rage, he turned and stalked off.

"I will work the rest of the shift from my office," he barked over his shoulder.

"Yes, sir!" came Phasma's prompt reply behind him.

Halfway to his office he was snatched up by the arm and hauled unceremoniously around a corner. His captor enveloped him dramatically in a voluminous black cape, embracing him even as he struggled. Hux recognized the scent of him before he could even discern any of his features, but it did not quell his anger in the least. He attempted to wriggle out of the constricting arms to no avail.

"Stop squirming, general," said Ren, head covered by a hood but lacking the helmet. "This is no way to greet your lover after an absence."

"How many brain cells do you have left rattling around in that head of yours?" said Hux a bit too loudly. "Unhand me this instant!"

Ren loosened his grip but did not release his captive. "Kiss me and I'll let you go."

Despite the fact it was a ludicrous demand and he was still rather upset, Hux was immeasurably relieved Ren was safely back on the Finalizer. The scent of soil and trees was heavy over his usual hair products and synthetic fabric. As he tipped his head up the slight distance to press their lips together, he wondered what planet he had run off to in such a short time.

Ren kissed him slowly, working his mouth open to push his tongue in. Hux briefly considered biting it, glad they were hidden from sight of the main corridor. He indulged Ren for several minutes forcing his own tongue into the man's mouth aggressively, which he was sure was mistaken for enthusiasm. When he had enough, he slipped his hand between their faces pushing Ren's away.

"Where were you?" he asked, slightly breathless.

"I believe the planet was called Culdaan," said Ren beginning to lightly massage his back. "Its name doesn't really matter, though. Nor does the planet itself. I was summoned there by a person I sent out many years ago to find an item of great importance."

"That…was a very vague and indirect response," said Hux.

Ren seemed lost in thought for a moment. "Come with me to my quarters and I'll explain it in more detail."

"Maybe later. My shift is not over for another two hours."

"It can't wait," said Ren finally releasing Hux from his arms only to grab his wrist. "If necessary I will drag you with me."

Not even remotely in the mood for another tag along session, Hux shook his head. "Fine. Let's go."

Several minutes later Hux found himself standing in the common room of Ren's quarters. He watched as Ren moved to the kitchenette, filled a pot with water, and set it to boil on the cook top. Curiosity getting the best of him, Hux wandered over just in time to see Ren pull something out from beneath his cloak. It was a pouch and he opened it, tipping it upside down over the counter. Relatively small pieces of dried plant fell from it and scattered over the surface.

"What in the name of the Stars is that?" asked Hux leaning over and attempting to pick up one of the slices of plant matter.

Ren smacked his hand away and scooped some up, counting them as he deposited them into the pot. "It's called Sophophora and it's a nearly extinct cactus," he said. "I'm going to make a tea out of it. Sit down and relax in the meantime. Perhaps take off your jacket?"

Hux found himself doing as suggested against his better judgment. As he sat down and loosened the collar of his restrictive jacket, his mind mulled over Ren's statement. Why would he be making tea out of such an obscure cactus? What was so important about it?

Roughly ten minutes later, a tray settled onto the caf table before him, the contents rattling with movement. Ren unhooked his cloak and it fell to the floor, pooling around his feet. Underneath he wore a dark, belted tunic and pants. He sat down opposite Hux and started to prepare two portions of tea in what appeared to be handcrafted ceramic cups.

"You truly mean to consume that?" asked Hux incredulously. "Does it even taste good?"

"Supposedly it tastes foul," said Ren finishing his task and settling back into his seat. "We're not drinking it for that purpose though."

"Well, then why…wait, did you say 'we'?" said Hux, then laughed. "I'm not drinking that. I don't even know what it is."

"I already told you. It's called Sophophora. It's a cactus. I was lucky to finally get my hands on it."

Realization suddenly dawned on Hux. Some distant memory resurfaced of Jedi texts he had skimmed over in the academy on the premise of "know thy enemy". "This…this is a drug, isn't it?" he asked jabbing a wary finger at the cups.

Ren nodded. "Dubbed 'Light Master' or 'White Path'. In ancient times, Jedi masters used this to aid in their spiritual journeys through intense visions. It led quite a few of them to the Dark Side as well. It has been outlawed for many generations and fallen out of common knowledge. I'm impressed you know of it."

"I don't really," sighed Hux, "and I think drinking it is a terrible idea. You have no idea how it will affect us. It could even be detrimental to somebody like me who is not Force-sensitive."

"Do you take me for an idiot?" asked Ren. He produced a datapad and slid it towards Hux on table next to the tray. "I've done extensive research on this drug. All of my findings lead back to it being perfectly safe for anyone if used in the recommended dose."

Hux took the datapad and skimmed through a few pages. Frustratingly, he was correct and the proof was staring him in the face. It was merely one of the thousands upon thousands of hallucinogenic drugs that existed in the known universe. Nothing notably special about it besides the fact the Jedi Order had chosen it as their preferred method of enhanced soul searching. Of course Ren would have to have exactly the same thing. He was often particular about such things.

"This is put together quite well, but I still refuse to take it," said Hux tossing the pad aside.

"Are you afraid, O Great General?" taunted Ren with a sneer. "In the wake of your grand and epic failure, what is there truly to be scared of?"

Hux clenched his fists, rage rising more quickly than he had anticipated. "What did you say?" he ground out.

"I said you _failed_ ," repeated Ren, slowly enunciating the last word. "Spectacularly and wholly failed. All faith and hope lost, dashed. They would insane to give you a second chance-"

Feeling something deep within him finally snap, Hux lunged over the table with a growl and tackled Ren, nearly spilling the precious tea. Ren seemed only marginally surprised at the sudden action, taking a glancing blow to the jaw as they toppled to the floor in a tangle of limbs. He had the gall to chuckle as he halted Hux's scrambling arms and flipped him onto his back, pinning him under his heavier weight. Ren barred Hux's arms with his legs, pinched his nose shut, waited until Hux opened his mouth for air, and dumped the tea into it bit by bit. Afterwards, Hux bolted upright coughing and sputtering curses as Ren drank his portion of the tea with a smug smile. It tasted far worse than foul. It was downright repugnant. He took another clumsy swing at Ren, who easily caught the arm.

"You should probably take it easy," warned Ren, starting to systematically shuck off his clothes. "Also strip down to your underwear."

"What? Why?" Hux asked, chest still heaving. He was already starting to feel his focus slipping and his stomach roiling.

"Because the Jedi used to perform this ceremony naked," stated Ren. "I was trying to be lenient but I suppose we should do it properly…"

"No, no…underwear is fine," muttered Hux removing his clothes. His movements felt sluggish and uncoordinated.

He belatedly noticed that Ren had started to assist him, tugging off one boot at a time and skimming his ridiculously large hands up to unfasten his pants. He slowly slid the fabric from Hux's slim legs pausing to press a kiss to a calf.

"Come on, let's go sit over there," said Ren rising to his feet and helping Hux to his.

Hux did not question it. He really did not possess the cognitive ability to do so at the moment. Even his indignant anger was completely gone, effectively chased away by a growing sense of euphoria. Ren guided him to the floor to sit cross-legged before he assumed the same position in front of him.

"What…is going to happen?" Hux asked, barely able to articulate the sentence.

"Hallucinations, visions, enlightenment," said Ren. His voice sounded strange, the tone off. "It helps if you don't struggle against it. This is not something you can control."

"Great. Thanks," mumbled Hux. It was a well known fact that he was a control freak.

Ren offered a small smile. "You'll be fine. Close your eyes."

Hux complied. For several minutes all he perceived was silence and darkness. It was soothing. Then a foreign noise lilted softly through the room, as if coming from a distance. He strained his ears to hear it better as it gradually grew louder. He now recognized it as a piano. Startled, he opened his eyes. The music vanished and Ren sat serenely before him, no indication that he had heard anything out of the ordinary. Hux closed his eyes again, this time greeted by bursts of color swirling behind his eyelids. The piano music instantly returned and the song being played was dreadfully familiar.

Only one person in his life had ever played the piano. One very precious person.

His eyes snapped open and he did not intend to close them again. The massive house was shrouded ominously in darkness, rain ever-present and beating against the tall windows. Lightning flashed and thunder boomed, drowning out the beautiful music momentarily. His feet carried him instinctively through the foyer, past the large banisters of the grand staircase, and around a corner.

His sister, Liana Hux, sat on the bench dressed in white, fingers gliding elegantly over the keys. She had always been tireless in her pursuit of mastering the classical pieces. No one complained since it often filled the bland house with a sophisticated and peaceful backdrop. She encompassed everything good he could remember from his youth and his heart soared at the mere sight of her after so many long years. Lightning struck once again, sharply illuminating her figure against the numerous paned windows beyond. He tried to call out to her but his voice would not come.

Suddenly, she stopped playing, glanced up. Her face immediately lit up with a brilliant smile. "Armitage, my beloved," she called slipping off of the bench. Her feet were bare as she padded towards him, lace trim of her dress brushing her ankles, looking as radiant and beautiful as he remembered.

Hux started to move towards her, reached out desperate arms in preparation for an embrace he would never admit he craved. The gap between them grew impossibly larger and the scene abruptly shifted. He tried to shout, to run on the tilting floor as it began to break apart and rise beneath him. Chunks of debris obscured his view and the last he saw of her was a terrified expression.

"Liana!" His voice suddenly exploded out of him powerfully. He was practically hysterical with the lost opportunity cruelly torn from him, eye brimming with frustrated tears.

When his surroundings settled he gazed around disorientated and upset. He was somewhere else, some place ruined to the point he could not possibly recognize it. It looked less like it was war ravaged and more like it was simply ruins of a long lost alien civilization. His blurry vision fell on a body slumped on the ground, bright red blood seeping further and further from its fallen form. He knew instantly who it was and his body moved of its own accord, lurching forward to kneel in the thick fluid and gather the woman into his arms.

When he turned her over, her head lolled back limply, blue eyes eternally fixated in death. Her long blonde hair was staining vibrant red as blood continued to pump out of a gaping wound in her chest, where her heart should have been. Hux could see her broken sternum, ribs, torn membranes, and severed arteries and veins through the gored hole. A chill swept throughout his body followed by a wave of nausea. Everything about the scenario felt wrong. Last he had heard his sister was alive and well. Who had sought her out to kill her in such a horrific manner? Was it a random act of violence or retaliation on him? Had…had he caused her death? The mere notion brought another dizzying wave of nausea.

A profound sorrow descended upon him as the shock subsided. He wished he had made the time to visit her at least once during the construction of the Starkiller base. There had certainly been enough time, but he had always made excuses. He shifted her body in his arms, embracing the cooling, slick flesh, leaned his head in close so that their foreheads touched. Bitter tears fell onto her face, ran down and mingled with blood.

"Why are you crying, Armitage?"

Hux jerked his head upright at the casual and unwarranted use of his first name by someone other than his family. Looking back down he was stunned to see his arms empty and clean. Further inspection revealed him to now be in a bed aboard an unfamiliar ship or space station judging by the expanse of stars outside the transparisteel. He was sitting up, naked save for beige sheets haphazardly covering his lap.

"Don't call me that," he snapped at Ren, equally as naked and standing shamelessly in front of the window. A freighter slowly drifted by but he made no move to cover himself. Typical.

"But you told me to call you that while we're here," said Ren turning around and crossing his arms.

Hux meant to answer him, but when he blinked a pattern flashed across the stars beyond Ren, connecting them with illuminated threads and dazzling him silent. He blinked again, awed when the pattern momentarily returned. It was as if the cosmos were letting him in on a secret, offering him a glimpse of a divine hidden network. Realization dawned on Ren's face and he peered briefly over his shoulder before walking to the bed.

"You can see it now, right?" he asked as his weight settled next to Hux.

"What is it?" breathed Hux barely able to tear his gaze from the beautifully distracting sight.

Ren smiled, placed a hand gently on the side of his face, leaned in close. "Do you know we're made of the same stuff as the stars? Everything is connected. You're starting to see those connections. It's it amazing?"

Hux nodded as Ren brushed his nose against his then tilted his head for a kiss. It was tender rather than passionate and did not last long. He felt the raw affection flowing easily between them and it frightened him. Ren hooked an arm around his torso and pulled him down onto the mattress beside him.

"You know…we're probably going to die soon," mumbled Ren into his pillow.

The declaration made Hux's blood run cold and he was not quite sure why. What he felt went beyond a rational and normal fear of death. It was bordering on sheer terror. As his body tensed, Ren sensed it and held him tighter.

"Don't worry. Death is inevitable," whispered Ren nuzzling into his hair, "but death is not the end. Not for people like us."

"If that was meant to comfort me, it failed," sighed Hux. "What do you mean by 'people like us'?"

Ren chuckled stirring the fine hairs on the back of Hux's neck. "I have this dreadful feeling it's going to fall apart before it even remotely comes back together," he said almost sounding amused. "I hope it's not a premonition…but I've had feelings like this before…"

"What is going to fall apart?" asked Hux twisting around to face Ren.

Ren cracked open soulful brown eyes, looked at him sadly. "You, Hux. You are going to fall apart. Even though we warned you not to."

Hux scrambled away from Ren hastily. That damn phrase was following him everywhere and it set off alarms in his mind. As he tumbled over the side of the bed to the floor, the scene once again shifted. He was dressed in his standard uniform, Upsilon-class command shuttle behind him in the slight distance, and forest abundant around the clearing. It was a comfort to see many of his Stormtroopers scattered around as well as several officers of varying rank.

Blaster fire sounded abruptly throwing the calm scenario into chaos. There was no time to take proper shelter and his troopers were not close enough to protect him. In fact no formal guards of any type stood near him which was unusual. A blaster bolt whizzed by his head and he turned to flee back to his shuttle. He could not resist the urge to glance over his shoulder as he ran. He stumbled over a rock and nearly fell as he witnessed another bolt barreling towards him on a straight path to his torso.

The bolt stopped in midair, suspended and straining against an unseen force. Hux finally tripped and fell to the ground. He had seen this trick before. Quickly, he clambered to his feet looking around wildly for Ren. A figure draped in a dark hooded cloak stood nearby, arm extended out and hand reaching. The fact the hand was devoid of a glove and sleeve instantly caught his attention.

"I applaud you Armitage Hux," said the figure in a voice that was clearly not Ren's. "This is certainly a step in the right direction."

"Who are you?" asked Hux holding his ground as the figure approached. He quickly noted that every other being besides them had disappeared.

"I suppose it would be best to describe me as a guardian," spoke the figure only halting when it was standing uncomfortably close, its face effectively obscured.

Hux sighed. "Well, it's pretty obvious that you're a Force user of some kind," he said gesturing to the blaster bolt still hanging immobile in the air. "I would say you're a Jedi, but there's only one of those left in the universe."

"That's not necessarily true," said the figure slowly shaking its hooded head.

"Don't be ridiculous," snapped Hux. "If there are any more Jedi out there -and I doubt there are- I will personally see to their deaths."

"Bold words, but you lack the strength and abilities to accomplish such a feat. I am not concerned."

"Right. Fine," said Hux flatly, willing down his rising temper. "Perhaps you should be concerned, though. The Order has a group of individuals in possession of abilities to accomplish such a task."

"So I've heard," said the figure thoughtfully, "but that is not why I am here."

"Then, please, enlighten me," said Hux hoping the stranger would finally get to some kind of point.

"You will soon be offered an opportunity. A very grand one. It may not seem like it, but that opportunity will be a catalyst leading to a split in the path of your destiny."

Hux raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. If it was not already apparent that the person -or whatever- was a Force user, then its obnoxious habit of speaking in riddles would have certainly given it away. "How…interesting," he said. _Though utterly useless_ , he added in his mind.

"You will understand its use in due time," said the figure. "For now, I must release you."

The statement struck Hux completely wrong, dredging up a painful memory. It was hazy and bright, searing heat and endless sand. A cloaked figure had…stabbed him? Blood blossomed through his dark uniform…

"Wait-"

The figure lifted a hand and swiftly lowered it, releasing the straining blaster bolt from its hold. Stupidly, Hux had not even thought to move from its path and it hit him square in the chest, knocking the wind from his lungs as it effortlessly tossed him backwards, burning and tearing through flesh and muscle, impacting bone. Everything went black before he could even collide with the ground.

When he peeled his eyes open, he was lying on his back, coated in sweat, gasping, and staring at the ceiling of Ren's quarters. He sat up groping absent-mindedly at his intact chest with relief. He understood why a Jedi or Force user would want him dead, but it did not make going through severe injuries -mental or otherwise- any easier. Annoyingly, Ren was still seated in the exact same position he had been when they started. His eyes suddenly opened startling Hux.

"I saw you," he breathed sounding dazed and giddy. He crawled forward clumsily on stiff limbs and clutched Hux's hands in his. "You were in my visions."

"All…of them?" asked Hux.

"Enough of them," answered Ren. He brought one of Hux's hands to his mouth and kissed it, smiling. "Come with me," he said, lips lingering on the slick skin.

"Where?" said Hux. His mind was starting to feel delightfully empty, probably reeling from the chemicals dumped into it without much care.

"To the temple, for my final training," said Ren using the hand to tug Hux towards him and adjust his legs over his own.

Hux snorted, an easy smirk gracing his face in light of his loosened inhibitions. Perhaps the drug was still working. It had to be on some level because he felt dizzy and colors were still too vibrant. "Absolutely not. That is one of the worst ideas I have ever heard," he said but Ren did not seem perturbed by his refusal in the least. "Have you finally gone mad, Ren?"

"While I am asking for mostly selfish reasons," started Ren tipping his head forward to kiss Hux briefly, "your presence at the temple was requested by Supreme Leader Snoke."

Hux pulled back sharply and averted his gaze. It was a ridiculously telling gesture, and he cursed at himself internally. "Supreme Leader…spoke with you?" _Only with you, and not once with me_ , he added silently. Disappointment flooded through his body, reaching every vein and capillary. He felt like he was practically vibrating with it.

"Don't be upset," soothed Ren as he retrieved a nearby discarded undershirt and began to wipe the sweat from Hux's body. "The Supreme Leader has been very busy with preparations for training, as well as overseeing early construction."

"Construction of what?" asked Hux as Ren attempted to clean him.

"A new base," he answered tossing the shirt aside in favor of trailing his hands over Hux's clammy flesh. "You're freezing," he noted with a frown before gathering Hux into his arms and standing up.

Moments later, and before Hux could ask any further questions, Ren laid him carefully onto his bed beneath the covers. He left the room only to return shortly with two water bottles. Hux chugged most of it greedily, then deflated back onto the soft sheets and pillows with a contented sigh. Everything he perceived or touched was being exaggerated by his chemical addled brain. He slid his feet under the covers and it felt so good his hair stood on end. He jumped and tried to stifle a moan when Ren slid under the covers next to him and ran a hand down his chest and over his hip.

"Sensitive?" he inquired.

Hux nodded and a mischievous smile spread across Ren's face. His hand was still resting on Hux's thigh and he massaged light circles into it, moved slowly up to the hip and then slipped it over his abdomen. The touch felt electrified, tingling upon contact and burning a path as it advanced up his body. Ren continued to caress him and it sent alarming waves of pleasure rippling through his nerves. He let out an undignified sound and began to squirm under the assault of the sensations.

"I bet I could make you come by just doing this," said Ren, amused grin still on his face.

With tremendous effort, Hux grasped the hand fondling him and drew it away from his overstimulated skin. None too gently, he shoved Ren onto his back and climbed atop him to straddle his waist. The pressure on his pelvis was marvelous and he nearly buckled as another intense wave of pleasure radiated out from it. Vaguely, he was disappointed they still had their underwear on but also wondered if direct contact would reduce him to an incoherent mess.

"Fuuuck, that feels incredible," sighed Ren, though his hands shot up to keep Hux's hips stationary.

"Was…this in your research?" asked Hux panting. He was not even positive he was hard until he looked down to see he was indeed straining against his boxer briefs.

"Yes, though it was not easy information to find since the Jedi did not partake in such lewd activities," said Ren shifting slightly under Hux and letting out a low groan.

"I beg to differ," scoffed Hux grinding down a couple times and momentarily losing his ability to speak. "They…definitely fucked…perhaps each other. They just didn't write about it."

Ren chuckled then gasped. "You're probably right," he agreed.

"Of course I am," said Hux stilling despite Ren's whine of protest. "Tell me about the new base."

Smiling wickedly, Ren easily flipped their positions, withdrawing slightly to pull off Hux's underwear. "It's been in the works for about two years now," he said, fumbling out of his own boxers. "It's going to be another weapon very similar to the Starkiller, obviously," he continued as he crowded between Hux's legs and languidly started to rut against him.

Naturally all ability to communicate was completely lost as both men were overwhelmed by sensations that ought not to exist. It was a feeling that went beyond pleasure and into pure elation. Mercifully, it did abate a bit so they could meagerly attempt to process the experience.

"The site…or rather, planet has been chosen, construction started," said Ren timidly wrapping a hand around their erections. He let out an obscene moan as he began to pump them. "Hux…you're getting…a second chance."

The prospect of regaining his lost power was intoxicating, beyond even the effects of the drug. The building pleasure swelled at the news, and Hux arched his back, grabbing at Ren's hair to pull him down to him. Their lips smashed together in a sloppy, hungry kiss and Hux suddenly went rigid letting out a soft sighing moan directly into Ren's mouth. His orgasm came on gently, pulsing through him in waves before gathering in his groin and surging forth hotly over his stomach and Ren's hand. In a spent daze he felt more than saw Ren reach his peak above him, shuddering and letting out a curse that morphed into a moan. Oddly, he swore he felt the man's pleasure echo faintly through his nerves.

Hux fully expected him to promptly collapse upon his body, but the Knight surprised him by holding his shaking body up and slowly lowering it beside him with a huff. He curled around Hux like a giant, sedated cat. With what little energy he had left, Hux wiped his stomach clean with the sheets then relaxed into Ren's embrace.

"By Jedi standards we are now bonded," Ren muttered into Hux's neck.

"Hmm?"

"If two Jedi performed that ceremony together, they were forever bonded through the Force," explained Ren quietly. "Very sacred, very serious…"

"Well, thank the Stars we are not Jedi," mumbled Hux.

He fell asleep almost immediately after he spoke, the gravity of Ren's words eluding him. Much to his dismay, the recurrent dream returned.

* * *

Thank you for reading and comments are always appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3: If There's Time

Hux woke to the sound of his comlink going off like an alarm. It took him a moment to realize that he was not in his own room and a bleary glance at the chronometer told him he was approximately one hour and twelve minutes late for his shift. He cursed and swatted at Ren's snoring form sprawled out beside him in frustration. Ren let out a grunt but rolled over and continued snoring.

He sat up and raked a hand through his tousled hair. There was a distinctly sour taste in his mouth and his body was soiled with dried fluids. Stupidly, jokes about those things indicating a good time sprang to the surface of his mind. All he really wanted to do in that moment was take a long, hot shower. Instead he willed his stiff body out of bed and walked into the common room to fish his comlink out of his jacket.

"What?" he croaked into the device before yawning.

"Sir," came a hesitant voice. "Lieutenant Mitaka inquiring as to your whereabouts?"

"I've been…held up by unforeseen circumstances," said Hux a touch more sarcastically than he intended. "I'll be on the bridge shortly."

"Yes sir, thank you, sir," said Mitaka, relief evident in his tone.

Hux tossed the comlink onto the couch and returned to the bedroom. There was no way he was putting his uniform on over the filth currently crusted onto his flesh. Idly, he wondered if he still had a spare set or two in Ren's wardrobe. He wandered over to it and opened the door, rifling through the garments within.

"You never answered me last night," said Ren, suddenly standing behind him.

The only thing that kept Hux from letting out an undignified shriek was the fact that his mind felt like it was operating from within a void. The more he tried to think, the more empty it seemed to become, and his senses were definitely responding in a delayed manner. He gave up looking for his clothes and turned to face Ren.

"I'll go with you," he said hating the defeat he heard in his voice, "but bear in mind that I am doing so upon the request of Leader Snoke and nothing more."

"Why are you being so cold to me?" asked Ren with a frown. He reached past Hux and pulled out one of the general's perfectly pressed uniforms, hanging it on a nearby peg.

"Are you implying that I used to be affectionate with you?" asked Hux as he walked to the refresher.

"Yes, I am because you usually are…in private at least," declared Ren following him.

"What?" said Hux coming to an abrupt halt and spinning around. "That…that's absurd! I am most certainly _not_ affec-"

A jumble of tender scenarios shared between them suddenly cascaded into Hux's mind stunning him silent. One after the other played out before his eyes blanking out all other vision. He did not know what horrified him more, the fact that there were so many or the fact that Ren had somehow managed to catalogue them all mentally.

"Get out!" he shouted in distress using all of his focus to push the memories away.

Ren blinked and staggered back a few steps as if struck. "Did…did you just-"

Hux took the opportunity to back him up against the wall, crowd in close, and put on his best intimidating scowl. "Stay out of my head," he snarled lowly.

Ren's eyes were comically wide as he regarded Hux with a bewildered expression. He licked his lips then nodded once in agreement.

"Right. Good," said Hux backing up. "Come on, then," he offered gesturing towards the shower.

Meekly following him into the shower stall, Ren amazingly kept his hands to himself, only accidentally brushing against him a couple times. If Hux did not know any better, he would have sworn the man was sulking, but the behavior was slightly different and lacked the general bad-tempered atmosphere. He could not quite decipher the mood awkwardly hanging in the air between them and that made him incredibly uncomfortable. It also occurred to him that he could count on one hand the number of times Ren had backed down from a good argument with him.

Later, when he stood on the bridge of the Finalizer staring vacantly at the stars moving beyond the transparisteel, he blamed all of the strange happenings that morning on the drug. Surely it had to do with side effects. Ren had let him leave without another touch, word, or embrace. Barely made eye contact. It was unsettling.

The shift passed in a blur and he did not truly get much work done. The visions of the prior night occasionally replayed in his mind further deterring any productivity as his sluggish brain struggled to make sense of them. He also despaired that the dream had returned, seemingly with Ren. He did think to check on his sister, sending a message to her that received no immediate response, though that was common.

By the time he made it back to his quarters, he felt exhausted and hollow. In a bout of uncharacteristic laziness, he stripped off his uniform as he made his way to his bedroom, letting the clothing fall in a trail behind him. Down to nothing but his boxers, he sat on the end of his bed and gazed out of the window before him. A memory of Ren chiding him for choosing quarters too close to the exterior of the massive ship came to mind. He had claimed it was too dangerous and Hux should seriously consider relocating. He had adamantly refused. Being able to see space outside was one of the very few frivolous luxuries he afforded himself. If it led to his death then so be it.

He dimmed the lights to five percent and crawled under the covers. Sleep came to him easily and was blessedly free of dreams.

* * *

Ren avoided him during the day. Normally, he would be absolutely fine with that, and it certainly gave him ample time to focus on the work he had failed to finish. Part of him found the situation troubling, though, mainly because he had no idea what had truly caused the behavior. He had never been too good at understanding emotional issues, and Ren was obviously brimming with them. Not in the mood to contemplate it, he returned to his quarters after his shift with extra work to provide an adequate distraction.

He ate a light dinner and nearly had the work completed before his com panel beeped in a manner indicating that someone was requesting entrance. Without verbally responding, he remotely unlocked the door and it swished open seconds later.

"Lord Ren," he greeted his guest as he clomped into the common room and sat heavily next to him on the couch. "Thank you for having the common decency to alert me before barging in."

" _Hux_."

His name was uttered with such urgency that he finally redirected his attention from his datapad to the man beside him. Oddly, Ren was wearing civilian clothing, something simple but fashionable one would likely find on the core worlds. It was all black fabric in layers, accented by a cowl with the hood up to obscure his face. Hux really could care less what he wore, but after so many years of seeing Ren in the same thing the random outfit change -without a known purpose- struck him as bizarre.

"You know," Ren started, then paused, "we don't have much time. We have so little time…and you _insist_ on being obstinate. I can't break through the walls as much as I try…it's maddening…"

"What are you on about?" sighed Hux placing the datapad on the caf table.

"You don't know?" he asked suddenly, loudly, turning his whole body towards Hux. His expression was wild, pained, manic. "How can you _not_ know? Are you emotionally retarded? Do you genuinely feel anything close to affection at all?! Have you ever loved anyone at all in your entire damned life?!"

Hux stared at him openly. He was so shocked by the onslaught of words and their implied meaning that he did not even manage to implement any of his numerous defense mechanisms. "Have I ever…loved…" he repeated the phrase that stood out the most, completely unsure of how to answer.

"Yes!" hissed Ren grabbing his shoulders for emphasis, his eyes blazing with intensity. "Have you ever loved _anyone_ before? Anyone at all?"

"I…of course I have," said Hux frowning slightly.

"Who?"

"My sister," he answered wondering afterwards how wise it was to divulge such things. In the end he rationalized that the knowledge was potentially safe with Ren considering the nature of their relationship, undefined as it was.

"Good! That's a great start!" said Ren looking a little relieved. "What about a past lover?"

Hux nearly laughed at the question. Despite devoting a majority of his life to the pursuit of bettering his military career, he had managed to squeeze in a few short-lived relationships. They were mainly for sex and perhaps a lot for power play. He was not sure if he truly cared about any of them though he had been quite fond of them at the time. Since Ren was still staring at him expectantly, he shook his head as an answer.

Appeared disappointed for a moment, Ren cast his gaze down, but quickly recovered and snapped his eyes back to Hux. "Okay…that's okay. You can work with that, build on it, apply it to something different…" He spoke in a rush, almost sounding panicked. "I can teach you anything you don't know…"

That was bloody well enough, thought Hux, shaking off Ren's grasping hands roughly. "So, let me get this straight," he started. "You breezed into my quarters acting like a lunatic, barely making sense, rudely demanded information you are not entitled to, and now you presume to teach me how to…to love? As if I am an imbecile and have no idea how such things work."

"No, no, that's not what I meant," said Ren finally thinking to draw down his hood. "I don't think you're stupid, not in the least, and I assume you know how to love a person, that's instinctual. But I'm talking about a relationship. Those are pretty complex and difficult to build and maintain."

"How do you know that?" asked Hux feeling a pang of jealousy.

"I've been in a couple relationships," shrugged Ren. "Naturally, that was breaking the rules, but I worked around them. As a favored student I got away with a lot more than I should have."

The thought of Ren involved intimately with other people made Hux nauseous. It instantly soured his mood. "Are you finished wasting my time?" he asked willing his tone into boredom. "I need to finish the rest of this work and go to sleep."

"Is that all I am to you?" said Ren bitterly. "A waste of time? A distraction? A good lay?"

"If that's how you choose to see it," said Hux reaching for his datapad.

Ren shot out a hand and grasped Hux's arm, jerking him towards him and causing the datapad to clatter to the floor. "I do not!" he hissed vehemently. "I choose to acknowledge that I have deep and intense feelings for you, that I care what happens to you and how you feel. I need to know how you feel about me, and I don't want to drag it out of your mind. I want to hear you speak it, hear the words pass your exquisite, tempting lips."

Hux felt the urge to laugh once again, but he was truly not used to being complimented on his appearance. Ren had done it plenty in the past and it always managed to make him falter. He often wondered if the compliments were sincere. "You…like my lips?" he asked, the words slipping out before he had a chance to stop them.

"Yes, I adore them, they're so amazing they deserve a religion based off of them," said Ren slipping his free hand to rest on Hux's back and pulling him closer. "Stop avoiding the point. Answer my question."

"Ren…Kylo…I'm not entirely- I…I'm not sure," he stumbled pitifully over his words, but his answer was not necessarily a lie. He had never taken any proper time to consider how he really felt about Ren, content with the thrill of letting his impulses haphazardly lead him through whatever they shared.

Instead of acting dejected or crushed, Ren surprised him by finally releasing his arm, smiling softly, and placing a broad hand directly over his heart. "I suppose it was pretty foolish of me to think I could demand such an answer. Your core is still burning so bright and intense. I wish I knew if it was for me or the new war machine?"

Hux had no idea how to answer the question, and was becoming increasingly distracted by Ren's close proximity. He reached out and ran his hands over the cowl before gripping it lightly, tugging Ren's face towards his. Their lips brushed together briefly before Hux moved to the side, slid against the slope of Ren's jawbone, then kissed the exposed skin of his neck. He sighed and threaded his fingers into Hux's hair.

"Have you been keeping track of the days?" asked Ren.

"No. Why?" said Hux pulling back to lift the cowl and toss it aside. He hooked a hand around the back of Ren's neck and continued to suck on it.

"Mmm…because…we're nearly at the temple," said Ren, his hands instinctively unlatching the belt at Hux's narrow waist. He started to unzip the general's jacket. "This is probably going to be our last night together for a while."

The reminder was exciting and sobering and Hux sunk his teeth into Ren's flesh in response, eliciting a moan. Even though he was being made to accompany Ren, he had figured he would not be seeing much or any of him during his training. As Ren finished unzipping his jacket, the idea of marking his body consumed Hux's thoughts. He shoved his hand under flowing layers of dark fabric and tugged up roughly.

"Hey, be careful," said Ren standing up abruptly. He took off the jacket first, then the flowing shirt beneath, folding and setting them neatly on the caf table. The boots, pants, and underwear were removed with similar care. "I'm wearing this to the temple. I want it to look nice."

"Of course," agreed Hux standing himself and disrobing much less gracefully in his haste.

They stood before each other, bodies bared, eyes searching and committing details to memory. Hux reached out and let his fingers trial over Ren's numerous scars, including the large one from the bowcaster on his abdomen. Ren tolerated it and Hux soon took his hand, leading him into the bedroom. He dimmed the lights to ten percent and fished the lube out of his nightstand, tucking it under a pillow as Ren reclined on the bed. A distant nebula was visible through the tranparisteel, bathing them in soft hues of purple, blue, and magenta. Hux advanced on Ren, ran his hands up over his toned chest, kissed a hot trail from his collarbone to his mouth. Ren flexed beneath him, reciprocated with needy touches.

"Tonight, I'm going to take you…dominate you, mark you," whispered Hux into Ren's ear, delighted to hear his breath hitch. He withdrew and sat up ignoring the whine of protest. "Over these," he said patting his folded legs.

Ren knew the drill and laid himself over Hux's legs, leaving his face in the covers and his ass in the air. Hux hummed approvingly as he massaged the well formed and slightly plump buttocks presented to him. Drawing his hand back, he paused to admire the view before bringing it down sharply with a smack. Ren groaned and Hux watched as red blossomed over the skin.

Instantly, he wished he was using the paddle because it made such lovely noise on contact and left amazing evidence behind. Bringing his hand down for another smack on the same spot, he rationalized that this was far more satisfying, though. He needed to feel it reverberate through his hand, to feel the sting as he bruised the flesh. He smoothed his hand over the forming welt, struck it soundly a few more times making Ren moan and squirm with each contact. They were both already fully hard and shifting uncomfortably, seeking friction.

His patience suddenly ran dry, and Hux groped beneath the pillow, retrieving the lube. He sloppily slicked up three fingers and poured some extra right into the cleft of Ren's perfect ass. Considering it had been a while, Hux carefully worked one finger into the tight hole, pleased with how the muscles sought to reject him. Still moving his finger within Ren, he maneuvered around to settle between his legs and slid in another digit. He twisted, stretched, and probed, thrilled as Ren grew more desperate. He must have hit his prostate since Ren suddenly gasped loudly and jerked backwards.

Hux continued hitting the spot with precision, added a third finger, listened to the lewd sounds escaping Ren and filling the room. Why in the name of the Stars had he ever called off their arrangement? It was entertaining, unbelievably sexy, addictive, and immensely gratifying. Their chemistry was astounding and Hux was certainly going to miss their trysts, only so recently reestablished. Without any warning, he yanked his fingers free and hastily slicked his cock with the remaining fluid. He knew he was rushing things, but somehow could not bring himself to care.

Ren was compliant as Hux urged him up on his knees considering it would have been difficult to lift his bulk. He lined himself up and pressed into Ren slowly, savoring how the muscles clamped around him tantalizingly tight. After he bottomed out, he remained still, giving Ren a chance to adjust. Many prior sessions had taught Hux how to read the cues Ren's body gave off, so when he flexed his back in a specific manner, loosened his clenched fists, and hummed out a tiny noise, he knew it was okay to proceed.

He tried to set a languid pace, intent on lasting a while, drawing it out as long as possible. That proved to be a fool's endeavor and he soon found himself hammering into Ren increasingly faster, his hands groping savagely on his sweaty flesh. Honestly, Hux thought his skin was infinitely more attractive scarred than it had ever been when smooth. He leaned over and bit down on Ren's trapezius. It drew a minute amount of blood and a loud moan from Ren. He ran his lips up to his neck, sucked on it a briefly, then bit down again.

"This…isn't good enough," ground out Hux.

Before Ren could even process the statement, Hux pulled out abruptly. With strength that surprised them both, he grasped one of Ren's thick thighs and flipped him over. He stared up at Hux stunned, his chest blushed red and heaving, dark curls wild and splayed out around his head. He gripped one of Ren's legs to steady himself and pushed back in, watching intently as his cock easily disappeared into Ren's body.

"That's better," he said meeting Ren's gaze.

Hux returned to a brisk pace and leaned forward, practically bending Ren in half. The man was incredibly limber, though, and contorted himself further to grab Hux's head and drag him down for a sloppy kiss. He fondled Ren's ample pectorals, then moved his mouth to suck on a pert nipple before placing his teeth around the areola and biting gently. Ren cried out, threaded his fingers into his hair, pulled his head away only to urge it to the other nipple. Hux gladly worried it with his teeth before clamping down and sucking hard.

Ren's body tensed beneath him and he started to let out a string of incoherent cuss words cut off by a groan. He was close and Hux wanted him to have a grand finish, so he pulled away from his chest, placed a hand delicately around Ren's throat, and squeezed. It was a little difficult to keep a consistent pace while not applying too much pressure to Ren's neck, but he managed. He panted and wheezed, attempting to catch his breath but unable to get an adequate supply of oxygen. A couple clever snaps of his hips later and Ren's eyes rolled back in his head as he came thickly over his abdomen and chest, without his cock even once being touched.

Immediately, Hux released Ren's throat and fucked him hard, positively thrilled with how wrecked he looked gasping and twitching beneath him. His orgasm came on staggeringly strong, nearly causing him to buckle under its force. He gave a few unsteady thrusts as his release surged hotly into Ren in pulses, letting out a moan that almost sounded pained. The pleasure did not drop off suddenly either. It lingered for several moments, though he did not dare move in fear of overstimulation. Giving into the fact he could no longer hold himself upright, Hux slipped out swiftly and collapsed next to Ren in a panting heap.

Ren turned his head towards him, still breathing heavily. "Holy…shit…" he mumbled.

"My sentiments exactly," said Hux sweeping the sweaty hair from Ren's face and tracing fingers over the bruises forming on his neck. "Consider this a parting gift. Something to remember me by."

Ren's expression fell and tears started to glisten in his eyes. He rolled onto his side and clumsily gathered Hux into his arms, pressing him to his semen smeared torso. Hux sighed but lacked the energy to complain. "Even though you're coming with me…I know I won't get to see you often, or in any kind of manner that satisfies me," he said tangling his legs with Hux's slender ones.

He wanted to tell him he was being overly dramatic, but the words would not come out. Somehow, he felt Ren's sorrow seeping into him, rolling through him in waves and nearly making him panic. The only reasonable response he managed was to cling to Ren like he was a life preserver and wait for it to pass.

"Even if I have an entire lifetime to be with you, it will never be enough," whispered Ren.

Hux had never heard such a romantic phrase directed at him. His heart contracted painfully and tears prickled at the corners of his eyes as he desperately tried to blink them away. He was not a sentimental type, yet Ren was dragging such responses out of him. What would it mean for them if they were developing legitimate emotional attachments to each other? What would the Supreme Leader think or do about it? The last question set his nerves on edge.

"Ren…what do you think Leader Snoke will think about this…development?" he asked quietly, afraid for an honest response.

"He already knows about us," said Ren stroking Hux's hair and back. "It's only logical that deeper feelings can come out of such an arrangement. As long as I complete my training and you oversee the new weapon diligently, I don't think he will really care what we do interpersonally. The success of his plans is his only true concern."

It was a mildly comforting answer but still a bit too based on speculation for Hux's taste. They would know definitively soon enough. He considered taking a shower but was simply too exhausted. Vaguely, he noted that the covers had been pulled over them, most likely by the Force, and he soon fell asleep in Ren's embrace.

* * *

He sat on a rocky ledge, one leg drawn up and the other dangling over the sharp drop off. The sight before him was breathtaking, with mountainous terrain, deep blue water far below in the canyon cut through them, and a waterfall flowing majestically in the distance. He dared to think that the place was peaceful, though he still felt a bit tense.

"You seem to genuinely care about him," said a now familiar voice. "That makes things easier."

Hux turned his head to look at the cloaked figure standing to his right, almost invading his personal space. "If you are speaking of Ren, then I would not be so sure of that if I were you," he retorted.

"Don't play coy with me," said the figure taking a seat beside Hux. He noted it wore boots, and when it turned its head he saw a flash of a very human looking nose beneath the hood. "I probably know how you feel about him better than you yourself do."

"I may be more inclined to believe you if you tell me who the hell you are," sighed Hux returning his gaze to the stunning landscape. "Where are we?"

"A planet in the Outer Rim, barely colonized which makes it marginally safer," explained the figure.

"So…no underwater bridge tonight," said Hux absently.

"Not this time," said the figure. "I cannot follow you into that temple, so we may not speak for a while."

"What a shame," deadpanned Hux. "I will certainly miss our enigmatic chats, and you do realize admitting that fact only further confirms my suspicions that you are indeed a Jedi…which really makes so little sense."

"You're a very clever man, general, but there is a lot you do not know. You have much to learn in the near future."

"Is that so?" said Hux. "But I most likely will not be learning anything of value from you, the Master of Evasive Riddles."

"I am truly sorry for that, but I am not willing to jeopardize our plans by giving you important information that can be potentially ripped directly from your mind. The wards I put on you may not be strong enough to keep them out."

"You put wards on me?" asked Hux snapping his head towards the figure in surprise. "When? How? Is that why Ren can't hear me when I project thoughts…wait, then how is he able to put images directly into my mind still?"

The figure shrugged. "If he's not trying to harm you, I guess they can slip through. Admittedly, wards were never my strong point, so their effectiveness may be…inconsistent. I can say with some measure of confidence that nothing too harmful will be able to get past them, since protecting you from harm is their main objective."

"Right. Brilliant. Thank you," said Hux sarcastically.

"It won't be too much longer now," said the figure. "Please take care of yourself in the meantime, Armitage. I will see you again soon."

Hux instinctively flinched in response to the figure's statement as it triggered some painful memories. He looked over just in time to see an arm swinging towards his head. He tried to block it, but it struck him square in the face hard, and pain radiated from his nose outwards. Uttering a strangled cry, he awoke, hand darting to his grope at his uninjured face in relief. At least the figure had not tried to kill him this time, so that was an improvement.

They had both moved around in slumber and Ren was now spooning comfortably against his backside. Shifting a bit, he belatedly became aware Ren was caressing and fondling his body, probably not even fully awake yet, and sporting an erection nestled snugly between his bare butt cheeks. Hux blinked the sleep from his eyes as he gazed forward, and startled at what he had failed to see upon waking. There, standing in his quarters, to the side of his bed, was a Force ghost.

He was so incredibly stunned that his voice failed him completely. It looked so much more ethereal in person than it had in the crude, speculative paintings he had seen of them at the academy. The figure glowed blue and had its back turned towards him. Its hood was down and he struggled to determine the hairstyle as if it would give him a clue to its identity.

"Ren," he whispered, afraid he may scare it away by speaking too loudly. He was immensely relieved his voice worked at all. "Kylo!" he tried again when he received no response.

"Hmm?" hummed Ren. "You called me by my first name," he sighed happily a moment later.

Hux wanted to scream. He chanced a look over his shoulder at Ren, whom still had his eyes closed. "Do…do you see that?" he asked.

"See what?" asked Ren starting to rut against Hux's backside, obviously distracted.

"The For-" He cut himself off as he glanced back to his side and saw that it was vacant. He blinked a few times wondering if he had merely imagined it. That thought deeply disturbed him.

"I don't see anything, babe," Ren mumbled dipping a hand down between Hux's legs to find him already half hard.

"Don't…call me that," snapped Hux before a shudder ran through his body. He had always been ridiculously sensitive in the morning.

Ren laughed and retreated briefly, presumably to retrieve lubrication, which he always kept well stocked in his nightstands. He returned and immediately got down to business, preparing Hux carefully while sucking on various parts of his neck and shoulders, no doubt leaving numerous hickeys behind. Hux felt lightheaded and strange, wanting to gripe at Ren to hurry up, but far too swept up in the sensations to articulate his complaints. Ren eventually pushed into him slowly and fucked him leisurely. Hux lost sense of time.

Everything about that particular session was doting and tender, much too close to making love rather than fucking. Hux wanted to give the disturbing notion more consideration, but his senses were overwhelming him, and when Ren wrapped a hand around his cock it effectively chased away any and all thought. He came soon after with a sob, stars momentarily gracing his vision. Ren followed immediately after him, mumbling something he could not process before his orgasm rendered him incapable of speech.

They lingered on the bed for a while. Hux really had no idea how long. He wanted to doze off and catch a little extra sleep but his mind had other plans, intent on keeping him awake and focused on Ren's gentle caresses. When he finally glanced at the chronometer he sighed and sat up. He had a little over an hour to get ready and he wanted to be early. Ren followed him through his entire routine, annoyingly close and completely unable to keep his roaming hands and lips to himself. Hux even snapped at him a couple times to no avail.

Before he left, Ren kissed him passionately, disheveling his perfectly styled hair. Hux seriously considered smacking him for such an offense.

"We'll arrive within two hours," he said, still gripping Hux's face in his large hands. "Pack a bag and meet me in the hangar by my shuttle then."

Hux nodded in response and Ren left his quarters. He was nearly out the door when the com panel on his desk started to beep. It was his personal line and not many people were authorized to use it. He rushed over, sat down, and activated the holo screen before answering. His sister came into view and he could not help the delighted smile that spread across his face. It was infinitely relieving to see she was indeed alive and well.

"Armitage! Hello!" said Liana Hux with a grin of her own. "How are you, my dearest brother?"

Morosely, he realized she had probably not received any news of the Starkillers destruction yet, and he did not feel like sullying their conversation informing her. "I'm fine, Liana. How are you?"

"I'm great!" she exclaimed and he wondered at her exaggerated response, until she jabbed a hand in front of her face that held a large, sparkling ring. "I got married!"

He almost yelled at her that she was too young, but then remembered that it had been nearly a decade since they last saw each other in person. She was certainly of marriageable age by now. Before he could ask her for details she started excitedly offering them. She had moved to Serenno looking for work and had met her husband at a market place not long after she had arrived. They had essentially eloped, and she informed their father after the fact, which naturally upset him. Brendol Hux was due to visit when he could, perhaps by next season, he had said. She finished by mentioning that Hux should come and visit her as well, that she missed him terribly.

"Are you happy?" That was all that truly concerned him currently.

"Yes," answered Liana, a soft look to her eyes. "Very much so."

"I'm glad. And I must be going or I'll be late for my shift."

"I understand. Take care, Armitage. I love you," she said smiling warmly as she tucked a stray blonde hair behind her ear.

"I love you too, Liana. Farewell."

Hux spent his scant hour and a half on the bridge scrambling to get last minute preparations in order, though he found Captain Phasma had arranged quite a bit of it, and he wondered how long she had known he would be leaving. He had only agreed to it a mere two days ago. Perhaps Ren had told her, which was an irritating speculation. As per the chain of command, Admiral Varik would take Hux's place as commander of the Finalizer. The Stormtooper training program would commence as usual, with some minor adjustments Phasma thought would improve productivity. He skimmed over them and signed off, pleased.

He barely had time to toss some uniforms and toiletries into a bag before running to the hangar. The cavernous space bustled with activity and he wished he had time to admire it before leaving. Ren's Upsilon shuttle came into view and he stood upon its ramp fidgeting. Noticing Hux, he jogged towards him, took his bag, and tugged him impatiently into the shuttle. It all happened too fast, and within minutes they were easing out of the Finalizer and into space.

As Ren piloted the shuttle further away from his ship, a chill ran down Hux's spine. He tossed a panicked glance back towards it but it was not within the viewport anymore. He could not shake the sense of foreboding settling into his chest.


	4. Chapter 4

Warning: There is some graphic description and violence in this chapter

* * *

Ch 4

The planet Ren's Upsilon shuttle approached looked like any other, incredibly nondescript, but perhaps that was the point. The shuttle soon broke through the atmosphere and Hux saw a vast green forest below. It was not until they were closer that he noticed the massive stone structure, half covered in creeping, overgrown vines. Ren was silent the entire short trip but that seemed acceptable. Hux rationalized he was nervous. They landed on a vacant stone slab and disembarked. The air was humid but comfortable and the climate temperate. Hux keenly noted that there were two other Upsilon shuttles tucked away nearby and wondered if the temple was staffed.

An astromech droid rolled up to greet them at the towering entrance and escorted them dutifully to a large, murky chamber. Several tense minutes later a familiar, towering hologram flickered into view. They were both shocked by the realization that the Supreme Leader was not physically present at the temple.

"You have done well, general," said Snoke with the same dispassionate tone he usually addressed them. "Kylo Ren, I see that you are healed. Are you ready to commence your final training?"

"Yes, Supreme Leader, I am ready," said Ren with determination.

"Very good, we will start immediately upon my arrival," said Snoke sounding moderately pleased. "I am due on the planet in a few days time as I am currently held up. General, you are to become familiar with the new weapon. The blueprints and all other pertinent information will be available for you to study. Inform me of any concerns you have since we are using your designs, and I am sure you know them best."

"Yes, Supreme Leader," said Hux. "If I may be so bold to ask, why could I not perform this task from aboard the Finalizer?" He almost cringed at his moment of rash curiosity, but stood resolute in his inquiry.

"Because it would distract you," answered Snoke evenly. "I am sending the Finalizer on a mission shortly that would certainly draw your attention away from much more important tasks. The weapon's framework is being established. I need you to make sure the engineering is sound, and oversee crucial negotiations for materials."

"Yes, Supreme Leader, I will do as ordered," replied Hux. It sounded horribly tedious, but he looked forward to working towards a worthy goal once again.

Satisfied with the response, Snoke shifted his attention to Ren. "Kylo Ren, start cleansing your body in preparation. A droid will guide you through the process and provide you will all the necessary supplies."

"Yes, Supreme Leader," answered Ren eagerly.

Snoke regarded them both briefly, then nodded and disappeared without any further words. The droid rolled up behind them and beeped, causing them both to startle. They retrieved their bags and followed it into the maze of the temple. Hux doubted he could find his way out of the structure on his own and that troubled him. They passed by a few other droids of varying models and he was now fairly certain Ren and he were the only humans present.

Hux was shown to his room which sported high ceilings and sparse furniture. He was surprised that it had been completely modernized, new technology literally laid over the presumably ancient stone. It contained a standard bed, desk, and open wardrobe already hung with a row of uniforms. Upon further inspection, he was pleased to see it had its own private 'fresher and that the desk closely resembled the model in his office on the Finalizer.

One narrow window towards the ceiling let in sunlight and he immediately grew nostalgic for the Starkiller. In sudden, desperate need of a distraction, he sat at the desk and punched in his security codes. The screens lit up and he soon found himself lost in a comforting sea of information. The designs and engineering all seemed sound so far, and he barely noticed the waning sunlight.

His com panel let out a shrill beep and he jolted in his seat. Before he got a chance to inquire who was there, the door opened and Ren walked in with a tray of food. It did not smell like military food and for that he was grateful. His stomach growled loudly in response and Ren chuckled as he set it down on the bed. As an afterthought, Hux activated the lights to 60 percent.

"Aren't you supposed to be…what was it…cleansing?" asked Hux standing and stretching his stiff body.

"I am," said Ren shifting uncomfortably as Hux approached.

Hux reached out to him only to be evaded. Defiantly, he tried again and found his hand suspended in mid reach in the grip of the Force.

"Please don't touch me," he said in a strained voice.

Furrowing his brow, Hux struggled against the Force ineffectively. "Why not?" he asked. "Is my mere touch going to taint you?"

"Yes," said Ren sadly. "I cannot let anyone lay a hand on me before training. The Supreme Leader wills it."

"Yes. Fine. I get it, now let me go," said Hux with an exasperated sigh.

After a lengthy hesitation, Ren finally released Hux's arm. Hux sneered at him on his way to the food tray. He sat on the bed and fell upon the food ravenously. Ren who took a cautious seat on the other side of the tray looking amused.

"This is quite good," said Hux with a full mouth, spraying some crumbs as he spoke. No one was around to see, so proper dinner etiquette was not a concern. "I don't suppose you're allowed to eat it as well?"

"No solid food for three days," said Ren gazing longingly at the rapidly disappearing food. "Just a specific liquid diet."

Hux finished eating under Ren's watchful eyes and placed the tray on the nightstand. He stood up and dusted some crumbs off his uniform. "Time to get back to work then. Thank you for the food."

Ren stood up and turned to leave. Suddenly, the thought that Hux had wards put on him crossed his mind. He wondered if they had applications other than protection. Deciding to test a theory, he quietly slipped up behind Ren and grabbed his shoulder, flipping him around. Ren gasped sharply and backed up startled until Hux had him barred against the wall, his arms preventing escape.

"Don't!" cried Ren as Hux leaned in to kiss him.

"Or what?" asked Hux stopping mere centimeters from his goal. "You'll bite me? Put me in another cowardly hold? Or better yet, try to hurt me?"

"But the Supreme Leader ordered-"

"More religious and superstitious nonsense," said Hux scornfully. "This ridiculous Force lore does not even apply to you. You're on the Dark Side. I should have the right to taint you as I see fit. I should fuck you senseless right here and now. I bet you would be better off for it."

Anger flashed across Ren's face and Hux could feel the telltale signs of the Force attempting to worm its way into his mind. Even if it was in vain, he attempted to reject it. A strange, tingling sensation ran from his head down to his toes, then back up again in a pulse.

He drew in a breath and every detail grew infinitely sharp, every noise much too loud. Dots of light danced in his peripheral vision and Ren's skin, so close, began to glow. Mind curiously empty, he set to observation. Ren's deep pink lips glistened, the brown of his eyes were flecked with hues of amber and olive, pupils contracting slightly as if attempting to hide his soul, and his scar a vivid angry, backlit slash. A dark curl escaped the collective of Ren's hair and fell slowly onto his forehead and Hux swore it made a scraping noise.

"What's….happening?" asked Ren tightly. He nervously licked his lips and shifted.

The movement set off an explosion of new stimulus and Hux let out a whine as they bombarded his senses. He buckled under it and lurched forward against Ren. With a gasp, Ren finally relented and wrapped his arms around Hux securely. The embrace sent him further careening into overstimulation and he soon lost consciousness, brain no longer willing to process anything.

When Hux woke he was lying in bed and Ren was gone. The room was dark and moonlight spilled through the window, dimly illuminating it. He noticed he was fully dressed and the tray was still present, as if Ren had hastily deposited him and fled.

Naturally, he immediately wondered what the hell had happened to him. The Force ghost must be spectacularly inept at wards for it to have backfired so dramatically. Or was it even the cause of the wards at all? Was it something else entirely? He desperately wished he knew what was going on, and desperation was an emotion he abhorred. Thankfully, his body felt none the worse for wear, and he easily climbed out of bed feeling abnormally alert.

He decided to explore the temple. The maze of hallways was intimidating, but he was not one to back down from a challenge. Stepping out into the hall, he noticed that small lights had been installed at intervals providing dull light to navigate by. The climate control of his room seemed to be absent, but the temperate was moderate if not damp. He wandered for what felt like over an hour but was likely less, passing countless unused rooms, before emerging onto a balcony. Upon inspection, it was really more of a large stone ledge.

He sat down and enjoyed the view idly wondering if he could find his way back to his room. His legs dangled off the edge and he looked down at the sheer drop below. Not much time passed before he heard footsteps shuffle up behind him.

"Are you alright?" asked Ren after a pause still standing a considerable distance away.

"I'm fine," said Hux looking out over the sea of dark treetops. Glancing into the sky, he noted two moons shining above.

Ren paced for a minute before sitting down on the ledge, dangerously close to Hux if he sought to avoid further touch. "Something is different about you," he said mirroring his statement from many days ago on the Finalizer.

Hux did not bristle at the declaration this time. He resigned to it, finally turning his head to look at Ren, shrouded in shadows. "You're right," he said.

"What is it? What is happening to you?" asked Ren readily meeting his eyes, scooting closer in anticipation.

"I'm not sure," said Hux. "I've been having these strange dreams…and…other things have been…occurring." He could not bring himself to be completely honest about his experiences. A big part of him still hoped they were merely illusions or byproducts of an overactive imagination, though he had never been particularly imaginative in that manner.

"What kind of dreams? What other things?" asked Ren, instinctively reaching out to him but halting and withdrawing his hand.

Hux refused to answer him, opting for silence in place of lies. He returned his gaze to the forest.

Ren let out a frustrated growl and clenched his fists in his lap. "I can help you," he said hotly. "Why won't you let me help you?"

Hux rationalized that Ren was probably right, yet he still could not force the words from his throat. Vaguely, he recalled that the whole scenario was steeped in secrecy. He did not feel that telling Ren the truth was wise or would benefit anyone.

"It doesn't mean anything, Ren. Don't worry about it. It's probably just the product of stress." When in doubt, denial was the best route.

Ren appeared to be on the verge of a fit, so Hux reached out and laid his hand over one of Ren's clenched fists. He expected him to pull away, but instead he turned his over and grasped Hux's hand, eventually lacing their fingers together.

"You're a bad influence on me," said Ren quietly.

Hux laughed. "That I am," he agreed. "You know…we're alone in this temple for at least two days. It would be a shame to waste the opportunity."

"You want to-" Ren tightened his grip on Hux's hand and clenched his jaw. "I really shouldn't."

"You really should," said Hux with a small smile. "Was it specifically forbidden?"

"No, but touch was, and I think that would count as touch."

"But we have already touched," said Hux leaning his head on Ren's shoulder. "More isn't going to make a difference at this point."

Ren contemplated his choices for a few minutes. "I can't," he said lightly shoving Hux away and standing up. "Stop trying to exploit my weaknesses."

"Ah, so this is a weakness," said Hux climbing to his feet. "Being with me is a weakness."

"That's…not what I meant," said Ren.

"That's _exactly_ what you meant," spat Hux bitterly. Old feelings of inadequacy and rejection bubbled up, sparking his temper. "Forget the offer. I don't want you to touch me anyways. Not anymore."

"Wait! Hux, what do you mean-"

Hux ignored him and stalked back into the temple. Of course, Ren followed, nearly on his heels as he tried to navigate the twists and turns. His irritation helped him remember exactly where he was going.

"Are you calling it off again?" asked Ren panicked. "You can't do that! It was going so well…please don't do this!"

Hux sped up his pace, annoyance building. Ren did not know how to let things go, or let people cool off. It was petty and cruel, but Hux decided that he wanted to teach Ren a lesson. "I can do whatever I want with this mockery of a relationship we have," he said firmly.

Ren made a small wounded sound. "Mockery?" he said weakly.

He came to a sudden stop and whirled around causing Ren to bump into him before backing up. "This is a joke, Kylo Ren," he hissed advancing on him slowly. "We cannot have a 'relationship'. The mere idea of people in our position doing such a thing is ludicrous. I refuse to keep indulging your pathetic fantasies."

Ren stepped away until his back hit the wall. Anger and shock warred for dominance on his face. "Is…is that how you really feel?" he whispered.

He knew he was making a mistake. He knew he was letting very old emotions trigger an inappropriately scathing response. He kept spitting venom anyway. "Yes, it is. You're a great fuck, but I can barely tolerate you as a person."

For a brief moment, Ren looked as if he were about to burst into tears. He quickly regained his composure and scowled. "You're not very tolerable yourself," he retorted, "but…I'm not going to give up on you."

The statement made Hux falter. "But…I'm…what-"

"I'm pretty sure nobody has ever treated you well emotionally," said Ren. "Neglected, abused, or given up on, right?"

"No, I-"

"Your sister is only one person in a sea of too much cruelty," said Ren. "She probably wasn't around enough to truly help."

Hux remained silent. Ren was right, but he would not say so. He still had his pride to consider. As he started to move away, Ren hooked a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss. Hux melted into it, eagerly pressing their bodies together and grabbing handfuls of dark hair. Ren hesitantly placed his hands on Hux's hips, sucking on the tongue that shoved its way into his mouth. Hux eventually pulled away, his pants feeling entirely too tight.

"I know you're not going to apologize, but I forgive you," said Ren quietly.

"How kind of you," deadpanned Hux. "Are you going to sleep with me or should I take care of this myself?" He asked grinding his pelvis against Ren's to emphasize his question.

Ren shivered. "You're terribly persistent."

"That's not an answer."

"Fine," said Ren after a moment of thought. "But no fluids from you can enter my body."

"Deal, come on then."

* * *

Even though he had fallen asleep pressed against Ren's sweaty body after a few intense rounds of sex, Hux awoke alone on his narrow bed. He rubbed a hand over his face before blinking at the sunlight with a smile. He felt sated and the natural light lifted his spirits. He took a shower and got dressed. A servant droid delivered him breakfast and he set to work.

The plans were practically identical to the Starkillers, which he had helped innovate, so they were all familiar. He found it engrossing to go over all of the blueprints and schematics again. The thermal oscillator was a point of particular pride, and he was pleased to see extra layers of protection designed around it.

Hours turned into days and he did not see or hear of Ren, despite a failed attempt to locate him. The Supreme Leader eventually made his grand entrance and it was incredibly underwhelming. They were once again herded into the chamber and Hux tried not to let the sight of Ren distract him. The knight looked gaunt and exhausted.

Snoke entered the room and sat upon a conveniently existing throne. He was shorter than Hux remembered. He asked if Hux had any concerns so far to which he answered no. Snoke nodded his gnarled head and informed him he would soon be sent to negotiate for ore on a planet in the Unknown Regions. He would send Hux the details later. Hux verbally affirmed and was dismissed.

As he left he could not help the concerned glance he tossed Ren, whom made no indication he even noticed. He seemed dazed and out of sorts, staring blankly at his feet.

Hux continued to pour over the details and they seemed endless. He found that the weapon was being built into a large moon rather than a planet, perhaps in consideration of how long it may take to construct. It was, however, still plenty large enough to create a decent weapon and did possess a core to work with.

He received the official orders to leave for negotiations halfway through the second week. Two officers and a squad of Stormtroopers had arrived to accompany him to the planet. It sat precariously close to the Outer Rim just inside the Unknown Regions and was named Rokem, not that it mattered.

They left the following morning, officers in an Upsilon shuttle and Stormtroopers in a transporter. Hux swore he saw Ren in the distance as they exited the temple, lurking around a corner and watching him. As the shuttle set down on Rokem, Hux let his thoughts linger on that dark, shadowed face observing him. Had it really been Ren? He felt a chill crawl down his spine but ignored it. The strange sensation he had experienced the first night at the temple with Ren suddenly returned to thrum under his skin. It did not overwhelm him this time, and he wondered if his body had acclimated to it. Honestly, he had no idea what it even was, but it felt heavy with potential, as if it were anticipating something.

Hux left the shuttle with the officers, glancing to his right to see that the Stormtroopers had disembarked. They all stood in a clearing surrounded by forest, and the contacts stood at a distance near a wooden shack. A terrible sense of déjà vu descended upon him. He turned to the officer to his left just in time to see a blaster bolt tear through his eye. A spray of blood erupted from the hole as the man's body was tossed back and hit the ground.

He wanted to yell, to shout orders to the others, yet all he managed to do was fixate on the man's lifeless body. His head tipped to the side and blood trickled out of the empty socket. The world abruptly broke out in blaster fire and screams. Turning his head back to the advancing contacts, he now realized with stunning clarity that this exact scene had played out in his drug-induced vision. And he knew what was going to happen next.

A blaster bolt whizzed by his head. Unlike the vision, he did not get a chance to turn and flee. Two bolts tore into his torso in rapid succession. One hit his chest on the left side and the other in the lower right quadrant of his abdomen. The impact threw him back several feet and he landed flat on his back with a startled cry. He immediately tried to sit up but blood started to gush out of the wounds and it was obvious a section of his abdominal muscles had been torn to a pulpy mess.

Hux clapped a hand over the chest wound in a desperate attempt to stop the blood leaking out. The bolt had hit incredibly close to his heart, and probably punctured a lung if his shortness of breath was any indication. He thought maybe he let out a whine. He couldn't be sure over all the noise. The pain throbbed viciously from the injuries and he felt himself grow weaker with each sluggish gush of bright red fluid through his grasping fingers.

The blaster fire stopped. The screams silenced. Hux was dying. His vision started to go dark around the edges. No one was going to save him. No one was alive and Force ghosts were not real. His eyes prickled with unshed tears as his mind flooded with regret. He wished he had not been so mean to Ren during their last encounter. He wished the last sight he had of him had not been at a shaded distance. He really wished he had figured out how he truly felt about him.

He lay soaking in a growing pool of his own blood, turning the dirt beneath his body to mud. His hand eventually slid off his chest to land in the filth and his breaths were becoming more rapid and shallow. A blue glow came into his darkening peripheral vision and he managed to turn his head towards it.

"This played out rather well," said the Force ghost. It crouched down next to Hux. "Are you ready for your gift, Armitage?"

"You're…not real," said Hux with a measure of difficulty.

"How rude. Either way, what have you got to lose?"

"Good point," wheezed Hux. "Go on."

"This may seem a little farfetched, but hear me out," started the Force ghost, its hood still obscuring its face. Hux could see its shady planes but no detail. "I am prepared to let you live under the condition that you accept the Force into your life and flee the First Order."

Hux smiled and sputtered out a bloody laugh. It degraded into a weak cough. "That's…insane," he commented. "I absolutely refuse."

"But if you die here you will never see Kylo Ren again," urged the ghost. "You will never get to say goodbye. He'll be devastated. Plus…you will never know power again. All of your potential will be snuffed out by mere Resistance fighters on a planet no one cares about. Your corpse will likely never even be discovered. Such a tragic end for a great man."

Hux looked at him, tried to will his blurry vision into focus. Of course the ghost knew every single button to push, and his speech sparked a fresh wave of fear. "But…the Force cannot bring…the dead back to life."

"Correct," affirmed the Force ghost. "That is not my intention. I am not going to allow you to die in the first place. This is a special allowance. I am going to use an ancient and forbidden technique. It had been lost for many generations, but I stumbled upon it by accident, and managed to keep it well hidden during my life. Never figured I would ever have a use for it, honestly, since it's pretty particular in application, and the cost to a living practitioner is dreadful. Essentially, it extends a waning life, manifests back vitality, repairs injury. Skirts dangerously close to the Dark Side…but I assure you this use is righteous. I would not be able to use it otherwise."

Hux tried to contemplate his options, but his mind was growing sluggish. It sounded like absolute nonsense. With effort, he brought a muddy, blood-soaked hand to his face. It blurred and the darkness was now steadily creeping over it. He knew he did not have long and could barely draw in breath. Much to his surprise, all Hux truly wanted in that moment was to see Ren. He felt perhaps he could meet death more courageously if he had the chance to see his face or hear his voice. He knew he would at least die happy if he could feel his lips again…

"Do it," said Hux mustering up what little strength he could. Ultimately, there was no good choice. Either he died with crippling regret or he lived with the Light. Surely he could find an angle to work with his new life, and if he grew tired of it he would simply return to the First Order and invite death.

"I'm so glad you came to that decision," said the ghost with a relieved sigh. "Giving you this option was not an easy thing to convince the others of and they slotted it for failure. Before we start, I'm going to lay down ground rules, alright?"

Hux nodded.

"You _must_ attempt to persuade Kylo Ren back to the Light. This is a very important stipulation. Also you must swear to never turn to the Dark Side or return to the First Order. If you do, you will forfeit not only your powers but your life. Do you swear to abide by these rules?"

"I do," said Hux. His voice sounded far away.

"Fantastic!" said the Force ghost finally drawing down its hood and baring its face to Hux. "Let's get started!"

Recognition dawned on Hux and he opened his mouth to shout but found his lungs uncooperative. The man slapped a hand over each wound and stole the last bit of breath from Hux. Were Force ghosts supposed to be tangible? He felt an odd tugging sensation, like his very essence was being siphoned out of him through his injuries. It was uncomfortable beyond description and he barely managed to panic through the haze of dulling senses.

Suddenly, the energy reversed in a terrible sickening wave, and surged violently back into his body through the gored holes. It was raw, unfiltered, and white hot agony. He caught one last glimpse of the ghost's face before his vision exploded into bursts of varying shades of red. His body jerked and writhed under the assault and he swore the color he witnessed was his blood shoring forth in protest. The energy pulsed, and tore, and seared. At some point, he tried to scream but made no sound.

The pain abruptly vanished replaced by an intense light. It surrounded him, engulfed him, overwhelming every sense. He felt all of existence flowing through that light, caressing him as gently as a mother, filling his heart to bursting with compassion and love. He had never felt so protected and secure. Part of him realized it was unnatural and tried to vie against it, but a bigger, affection-starved part greedily soaked it in. His heart gave one strong beat, followed by a steady rhythm, and he succumbed to the creeping darkness.

No parting words befell him. No dreams graced his slumber. The void cradled him and he was unaware as he took his first gasping breath of renewed life.

* * *

Hux opened his eyes slowly, peering past his pale lashes at an unfamiliar ceiling. Groggy and disorientated, he raised his hands to his chest. They passed over the slight ridges of raised scars. His wounds were healed and he was alive. The damned Force ghost had made good on his promise and he could hardly believe it. It had crossed his mind at several points during their conversation that he was being lied to, and there was no hope of survival.

As he sat up, the cover on him slipped down and he realized he was naked under them. A quick glance around revealed his surrounding to be some kind of crew quarters. If he did not know any better, he could swear he was on a freighter. A junky looking freighter at that.

"So the princess has finally woken from her slumber!" came an unfamiliar male voice.

Hux startled as he watched a moderately tall man with shaggy, dark brown hair stroll into the room. His smile was friendly and his attire simple. Definitely a smuggler or criminal of some sort. They all seemed to dress so similar it was laughable.

"Who are you?" asked Hux more forcefully than he intended. "Where are we?"

"Reasonable questions," noted the man as he knelt by a foot locker and popped it open. He rifled through the clothes, picked out a set and tossed it to Hux.

"Where…did my clothes go?" asked Hux dreading the answer.

The man took a seat on a lower bunk opposite Hux and leaned his elbows onto his knees casually. His expression appeared nonchalant, but Hux could sense something skeptical beneath the façade. "I found you lying on the ground in a pool of blood. Stars…there was so much of it," said the man shaking his head. "I had to incinerate them. I'm still pretty surprised you're alive."

"How did you find me?"

"I'm always at the wrong place at the right time," said the man smiling wryly. "I was only on that planet to pick up a shipment of ore for an interested party. It was going so smoothly and then all hell broke loose. Everyone was dead. Guess the local inhabitants didn't care much for selling to the First Order."

Hux drew in an unsteady breath as the man arrested him with a knowing look. It was not quite accusing, but definitely curious and perhaps a little disapproving.

"Against all odds, you just happened to gasp as I was passing by. Scared the shit out of me! I dragged your sorry ass all the way to this ship," said the man, then sighed dramatically. "Got blood everywhere, had to strip you down on the ramp and hose you off, trashed my favorite shirt." He paused. "I burned that uniform before my partner could see. She would have told me to leave you for dead."

Hux shifted on the bed and clutched the clothes closer to himself.

The man suddenly pulled a set of military identification tags out of his vest and dangled them from a finger. "Wonder what I would find on these if I looked? I have an adaptor that can read them."

"Do you know who I am?" Hux loathed how scared he sounded.

The man shook his head. "Some officer, I'm guessing high rank." He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I bet I could get a good ransom for you."

Hux almost blurted out that the Order would definitely pay handsomely for him, but quickly stopped himself. He was forbidden from returning to them. The reality of his situation started to sink in, settling upon his chest like a weight. Before he started to panic, he reminded himself that the Force was supposedly at his disposal. Did that mean he could use mind tricks and float objects in the air? All of the visions and cryptic messages made sense now and something in his brain finally clicked into place. He started to laugh. What a ridiculous turn of events. Utterly absurd.

The man gave him a questioning look, eyes still curious. "Listen…I'm really going out on a limb here, but I think I can trust you. I'm going to let you move about my ship freely for the time being. Just in case, I'm going to keep these." He slipped the id tags back into his vest. "Do anything fishy and I'm chaining you up in the cargo bay. Got it…um…."

"Tage," he answered after thinking of the nickname he had been given in the academy. Given its familiarity, he had a better chance of causally responding to it as well. "Tage Antares." He chose a random surname he had glanced while doing paperwork.

"Nice to meet you, friend. I'm Lonan Sage and this is my ship, the Orion. Go ahead and get dressed. When you're done, come to the lounge."

Hux sighed in relief after Lonan left. He started to methodically pull on the clothes noting that they seemed to fit rather well considering his slender frame. He found it incredible strange that the man was not considering turning him in for a ransom. Perhaps he deemed it too dangerous. As he strolled to the lounge, he guessed the ship as a popular Corellian YT series freighter, but could not say exactly which one. The durasteel under his feet was cold and he wondered if his boots were incinerated along with his uniform.

Rounding a corner into what he assumed was the lounge, he saw a lanky woman with an abundance of wild, blonde curls. She turned her surprised gaze towards him and smiled, lighting up her startling pale irises. It was a little unnerving, but Hux managed to offer a weak smile in return. With a bowl in one hand, she glided over to him and tugged him by an arm to the table. After shoving him down onto a seat she deposited the bowl directly in front of him and nodded.

"Eat, friend!" she said in softer voice than he had expected. She magically produced a spoon and tossed it onto the table. "With any luck I can put some meat on your bones." She laughed and wandered away to retrieve more food from the galley.

Why were these people so intent on calling him a friend? He had no idea what the food was, but ate it enthusiastically. He was halfway done with it by the time he thought the taste was familiar. The spices, the meat, the vegetables…

"Do you like the gumbo?" asked the woman returning with more full bowls.

Hux nearly dropped his spoon as his stomach did a most unfortunate flip. It was the same dish Ren had shared with him, though varying slightly in spices and vegetables. "It's…it's very good," he said desperately trying to school his face into neutrality. "Thank you…for this."

The woman must have noticed his upset because she gazed at him with a concerned expression. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Lonan entering the room.

"I see you met my partner, Tamsin Tull. She's pretty wild but has a good heart," declared Lonan before sliding into the seat next to Hux. "Tamsin, this is Tage."

"Oh, interesting name!" said Tamsin sitting next to Lonan. "So…where are you from? Where are you going? Why were you on Rokem? It is a little off the beaten path."

Hux completely avoided the first two questions and quickly formulated a plausible lie. "My ship broke down during an attempt to fix some shoddy modifications to the drive," he said forcing himself to continue eating. "I lacked the funds to properly fix it so I was stranded. I wandered right into that terrible fight, got knocked unconscious by a Stormtrooper, though I was as good as dead. I'm very grateful to Lonan for saving me."

"What kind of ship is it?" asked Tamsin between bites. "We can get the parts and go back."

Of course the friendly smugglers wanted to help him, thought Hux. He tried to think of more details for the lie but came up blank. It had been a long day. Suddenly, it occurred to him that he did not have to lie. If he truly had the Force in his life now, he could simply use the mind trick. Ren's annoying ramblings about his space wizardry amazingly had a real life application. That amused him more than the fact that he was about to attempt to use it on two kind strangers. He rapidly ran through everything Ren had ever told him about the mind trick, took a calming breath, focused, and spoke carefully.

"You need not concern yourself with my ship. Forget I ever mentioned it."

Lonan and Tamsin went slack-jawed and their eyes appeared glazed over for a moment. They repeated the phrases he had spoken then returned to eating without another word.

Hux stared at them in shock for a minute before returning to his food as well. It had worked, and he was giddy with its success.

"Is there somewhere you need to go? Be dropped off?" asked Tamsin after a lengthy pause.

Hux contemplated his options, but found that none of them excluded the First Order. "I don't know…I'm broke…and really don't have anywhere to go." The truth of the statement burned his pride to ashes.

The smugglers gave him a painfully sympathetic look that made Hux want to punch something.

"You can stay with us for a while, help around the ship," offered Lonan. "We're always into something and do decent business."

"We'll help you get back on your feet, Tage," said Tamsin. "No worries."

"Definitely," agreed Lonan. "The ship's even been modified to have the crew quarters separate of the main cabin so you'll have your own space. What do you say, friend?"

It dawned on Hux that the two were a couple, given the explanation of the rooms. His thoughts immediately went to Ren. He already missed him terribly and wondered if he would ever get a chance to see him again. The Force ghost had promised, but that currently meant little to him.

"Yes, that's very kind of you," answered Hux completely lacking enthusiasm and probably sincerity. "I'm sorry but I'm suddenly very tired. I'm going to lie down. Thank you for the meal."

Sinking into a depressive funk, Hux made his way back to the crew quarters and sat heavily on the bed.

 _If you want to see him, use the Force._

Hux startled and looked around for an intruder. In a delayed manner, he realized the voice had come from inside his mind. That Force nonsense was going to take some adjusting to. He had only heard Ren speak briefly about sending his mind out to locate people, and he did mention it was a little tricky to accomplish. He rationalized it was worth a shot since the mind trick had worked.

He sat comfortably on his bed and focused intensely on memories of Ren. It seemed like a logical place to start. Time passed and nothing happened. Instead of giving up, he redoubled his effort, delving into more personal memories. Abruptly, space appeared around him and he barely had the chance to glimpse a planet before being hurdled frighteningly fast towards an unknown destination. A planet rapidly approached. After he broke through the atmosphere, he saw the familiar stone structure and plummeted through its roof.

He did not hit the ground. He did not break anything. Turning around in circles, he suddenly stopped and gaped at the sight of Ren sitting cross-legged nearby. His eyes were closed and he was more than likely meditating. He still looked sickly, perhaps malnourished. Hux's heart contracted painfully.

Ren snapped his eyes open and breathed out Hux's name.

The connection was suddenly lost and Hux found himself still sitting alone in the quarters. Disappointment and exhaustion washed over him and he collapsed under it, lying down on the stiff bed. Tears quickly overwhelmed him and he absolutely hated himself in that moment. Still he surrendered to them, glad to have at least some outlet for his frustration. He soon drifted into sleep, tormented by dreams of better times.


End file.
